What an exciting, thrilling, nail-biting, “hang on to the edge of your seat” season it has been for the Cleveland Browns and their fans, MYSELF included.
If I recall recorrectly, the team was predicted (by NFL know-it-alls) to finish last in their division. It was going to be another barely medicore season...another “rebuilding year”. And to be honest with you, when the team lost their 1st game of the year, at home, to Pittsburgh 7-34, well....it sure did not seem like any good was going to come of the season.
And then....something happened. The day after the game, the team traded the then starting QB and gave the job to 2nd QB, Derek Anderson. AND HE HAS BEEN PHENOMENAL!! The offense started clicking and the team started winning. Standout players have been WR Braylon Edwards(going to the PRO BOWL!) TE Kellen Winslow JR and RB Jamal Lewis. Remember that first embarrasing game at home? Yeah, well, THEY HAVE NOT LOST AT HOME SINCE. HOME RECORD IS 6-1. WHAT A GIFT FOR THE HUNGRY, DEVOTED FANS OF CLEVELAND. For anyone who knows anything about football, they will agree, Browns fans are some of the most die-hard, devoted, in all of football.
The team has improved greatly, but i also know what is true: they have to claw & fight for every freaking win. No win has ever come easy for this team. It’s never been a “ok. we can kick back and relax” kinda feeling like the NE patriot or INDY colt fans enjoy. It is always dramatic. And for most of my years as a fan, it is typically this way.
I’m lucky I am healthy or watching their games might have me on heart medication.
So...here we are on the last game day of the regular season. Cleveland’s record is 9-6 and they have one last chance to get into the playoffs. Of course, they could have secured their own fate last week by beating the CINCY BENGALS, but nope...they did not take care of business. So, us fans have to wait until late tonight when the outcome of the TENNESSEE TITAN vs INDIANAPOLIS COLTS play at 8:15pm est. This is the biggest game of the weekend. IF TENNESSEE WINS, they take the last playoff spot; IF THEY LOSE, CLEVELAND TAKES THE FINAL PLAYOFF SPOT. Cleveland plays the 49ers at home and the outcome of that game does not matter for the playoff picture, but i would hope they come out and crush the niners like they should!!
I will be waiting all day for the night game. I will be rooting for the COLTS big time. This is no gimme game. In fact, the COLTS ARE THE UNDERDOGS in this game.
If you want to see why: colts vs titans



GO COLTS!!! GO BROWNS!!!

2007 travels

I went quite a few places in 2007. Some for fun/relaxation and some for races. Here is a quick re-cap:

Jan - drove about 1-2 hrs to LAKE OCONEE & stayed at the Ritzy RITZ CARLTON
Feb - drove to Birmingham, AL to run the Mercedes Half Marathon (sadly, I cannot run it in 2008 as I will be in NJ)
April- drove about 2 hrs to BLUE RIDGE, GA and stayed at the "sleepy bear cabin"
May - flew to Chicago for "blog friend fest"
May-June - flew to Philadelphia for 10k race and fun
June - drove to the beach in Florida for my first ever trip to the "sunshine state"
July - flew to Seattle for fun & my first ever trip to Pacific Northwest
August - drove about 3 -4 hrs to Huntsville, AL for a 10k race and fun
November - flew to Baltimore for JFK 50 Mile race and fun
November - flew to VEGAS for....(hey, what happens in vegas STAYS in vegas)

It was a good year for travel. Looking ahead to 2008, I already know I will be taking at least 2 trips in the first 3 months of the year. And, just maybe....i will take a trip outside of the U.S. this year.

What about ya'll? Got any travel plans for 2008?

a small survey

please humor me by answering the following questions related to xmas presents:

1) did you give or receive any APPLE product (including itunes gift cards)?

2) did you give or receive any GARMIN products?

3) did you purchase anything off of Amazon?


thanks, in advance

an open letter

i don’t want you to buy a christmas gift for me. why? because the only gift that would matter is the pleasure of your company. the best gift i could imagine are just a few hours or a few days where i could whisk you away to a place just for us. a place that might overlook the pacific ocean and where we could sit comforted by a burning fire. a place where we could enjoy a spicy Alexander Valley Zinfandel and watch the famous fog roll in and cover the land....a place where eucalyptus fills the night air and make me happy to breathe again. the gift that would matter would be the gift of your words...listening to you talk about anything and everything and watch as you become emphatic and loud and then soft and your tone close to a whisper. you could buy me everything but not one single thing would come close to just the simple gift of you.

freddie and the others

at this time of the year, i love waking up, opening my blinds, sitting in bed with a cup of coffee and looking outside my window. as i look out the window, i see a sight that somehow both intrigues and comforts me. there are lots of trees and of course, they are now mostly barren. what intrigues and comforts me are these same branches that for the 3rd year in a row now, are able to keep some of their leaves. as i look around to the other branches, they are empty. but, just these few right outside my window and in perfect view, have some leaves remaining. i’m intrigued because the leaves look very delicate and flimsy. yet, even after rain and wind, they remain. they are holding on for dear life. and at this time, i am always reminded of a book i recieved when i was 13; The Fall of Freddie the Leaf. It was a book about letting go, about dying. I recieved it after my mom died. I don’t actually rememeber much about the book except that Freddie was a lone leaf..he did not want to fall. But, all the other leaves had fallen, all his friends. So, while he clung on for dear life, he was alone. When I look at these leaves outisde, i think of them as Freddies. And soon, there will likely be just one out there on the branch; one Freddie. I feel like I understand why they stay and cling on...they are holding on to what they know...but, I aso understand the need to fall...to let go...and I get that they will fall when they are ready.

morning and afternoon

This morning was rough: I had to tell someone at work that something they said to me last night was completely inappropriate and that i did not appreciate her comment. While she completely apologized and took responsibility, i was still rattled and really bothered by it. Not the best way to start off a FRIDAY! This particular individual has from time to time said some things in the past to me and whenever she does, I am baffled that such words actually come out of her mouth. Sometimes, I find this person to be quite unlikable.

Moving on: my afternoon went better. I walked over to the mall not looking for anything in particular...mainly was gonna get a sandwich at PANERA BREAD. But, then....I saw the Kenneth Cole store and sauntered on in. And then....it caught my eye....a satchel! I have been loosely looking for one because I made a promise to myself that if I got my work promotion, I would by one. Well, today was the day. It is sweeeet. It's a leather flapover portfolio bag (MENS's). I kinda chuckle to myself because being in the line of work I am in, I should really have something more feminine....but, oh well -- sorry...that just ain't me.

And you know what....it smells really fucking good. Nothing like good leather, baby!

Going All Out

Since a couple of people, Trinity and R.D. have posted their Christmas wish lists, I thought I would throw my hat into the ring as well. Hey, you never know what Santa will bring!

On the TECHNO side:

I'd love a new MAC BOOK and my very first
Digital Camera so I can post more pictures like the rest of you folks.

On the wearable side: another
COOL WATCH

Also, a gift card to Peets Coffee will do since I spend quite a few bucks ordering coffee from the west coast to satisfy my addictive, snobby need.

Other than what is listed, I could go for a hellavua training program so I can run a marathon in under 4 hours, a few more new high net worth clients so I can book another trip to Vegas with Trinity and BP and book us a suite at BELLAGIO

Also, I would say world peace, but i think just peace in my own city of Atlanta would be more reasonable. Murder rates were up in 2007. C'mon folks, it's CHRISTMAS TIME.

workplace love

my friend and co-worker, AJ, has lost her dog. A sweet and cute little thing that disappeared while in the care of someone else while AJ was out of town. Needless to say, she is distraught. The dog has been missing since last thursday. It's not looking too hopeful, unfortunately.

AJ and i have a good relationship and we sit right across from each other. Our work space is very open and there is no privacy. Everyone can hear what everyone else is saying. AJ and I will frequently get into a banter that sounds much harsher than it really is...people who hear us will comment that we are like "an old married couple." It's true. That is exactly what we sound like sometimes. It's hilarious because she is like 17 years older than me, but often times, i feel like I am the older one. Anyway, one colleague in particular will often try to get us to "calm down" when he thinks we are "fighting" too much.

given the sensitivity of Aj's current situation, I was especially nice and comforting today. I went over to her desk a few times to just give her a hug and listen, etc.. So, when the one colleague who thinks we fight too much walked by i said, "hey, do you notice how nice I am being to AJ today?" "Yeah" he said, "It's like the love pit over there."

cracked me up

i hope the little pup comes back safely...

sometimes i feel very selfish. other times, very selfLESS. sometimes, i feel very inflated. sometimes, deflated. sometimes, i feel completely missed. other times, totally gotten.

I don't think we can have one without the other......

__________________________________________________________________________

when you loved me, i was changed. How could i not be?

I wonder if you feel...notice that....too?

Yesterday, I took a vacation day off from work.
I slept in and then went out for morning coffee ( which i never do..i make it at home)
I went to a place that i believe has the best coffee in atlanta. i bought a raisan scone and they warmed it for me. I took my coffee and scone and sat in a comfortable chair on the outside patio. The sun was shining and the day was warming up. It was gorgeous. I just sat and soaked in the moment.

Soak them in. Whatever they are.

Happily stolen from gumdropgal

FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD:

a) paper route as a child. i really enjoyed it. especially the tips in quarters or better yet, dollar bills
b) cashier at Winchell's Donuts ( used to eat many glazed twists. yum)
c) project manager for a spanish and asian yellow page directory company
4) housecleaner/yard helper person

FOUR MOVIES I COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER (i'm sure i could name MANY...)

a) the hours
b) crash
c) heat
d) rocky

FOUR TV SHOES I LIKE

a) the closer
b) grey's anatomy
c) law and order (CI, SVU)
d) private practice

FOUR PLACES I'VE GONE ON VACATION

a) nepal
b) seattle
c) ny
d) florida panhandle

FOUR FAVORITE FOODS

a) burritos
b) yogurt w/ granola
c) bagel w/ scrambled egg & cheese
d) perfectly baked potato w/ cheese

FOUR WEBSITES I VISIT DAILY

a) yahoo finance
b) yahoo sports
c) my blogs
d) google

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE

a) lake tahoe
b) sitting in a cozy room w/ a great fire going and have it be cold outside
c) on a retreat somewhere
d) palm springs


Consider yourself tagged if you wish to be...

help in the kitchen!

I CANNOT cook! Um...let me re-phrase this. I CANNOT FOLLOW A RECIPE. UUGGHHHH Every Freaking time I try to follow a new recipe, I botch it so bad that either it is barely edible or not at all. Tonight, it was the later. WTF??

I'm in my kitchen, delighted to try something new, happy to cook instead of go out or grab something to go. I had some Wynton Marsalis Jazz playing and I felt relaxed....up until I realized the sauce I was making for the pasta was pretty gross and I threw it out!!!! And because I never keep food stocked, I ended up just tossing a little olive oil on the pasta and put some parmesean cheese on it. That was what I ate for dinner. And then a bowl of frosted mini-wheats.

I was so discouraged. I don't know what went wrong, so please don't ask. 6 out of 7 days, i either eat out or get something to go. If I eat at home, it is usually a sandwich or cereal or mac n cheese. I used to cook more, but I don't really enjoy cooking in my kitchen. I do know how to cook some other things more involved, but i just don't. I just want to know why I can't freaking follow a recipe. And a friend of mine keeps giving me recipe books as gifts....I am gonna have to tell her to stop. They are of no use to me. I may as well just make the shit up as I go along.

I want to win the lotter for the sole purpose of being able to hire a LIVE-IN-CHEF

UURRRRRR

“Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find ''tomorrow'' on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday's defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, ''If I had my life to live over again. ''Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day! Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.”
-Og Mandino

the body

Isn't it amazing what our body does for us? I mean, really! Just ponder for a second that while you sit and read this post, your eyes are moving across the computer screen...there are muscles in your eyes that are working to make the movement happen. And as you read, information is interpreted and sent to different areas of your brain for processing or what not...

And all the while, blood continues to circulate throughout your body...your heart pumps the oxygenated blood out to your extremeities and various organs...your dinner is being processed and broken down by your digestive system and your kidneys are hopefully working so that you can hit the toilet later on...

THE BODY IS FREAKING AMAZING!!! And that stuff is all just automatic. it happens. from birth. it just happens. And the other thing that amazes me is MEDICINE....how a pill can be taken to pinpoint one particular ailment and it works. It's all a trip to me. Really.

And then i think about the people for who some of these things aren't automatic. I'm just amazed that it is for most of us.

Have you thanked your body lately? Go ahead, Give your BODY a hug! Isn't it deserving??

A favorite post

ThinkerGirl

Scroll Down when you click the link

Streetlights

After my 17 plus mile run today, I stood on a corner waiting to cross the street. In front of me there was a woman in an SUV with her window rolled down. Attractive, short blond hair. We made eye contact. Her light turned and she was moving and ready to turn. She looked back my way twice and grinned....

On my way to dinner tonite, I was at a stoplight. There was a man holding a sign that said, "Homeless. Please help."
He was thin, maybe 40 yrs old, looking worn, tired.

I gave him a 5 dollar bill. His words to me were, "God Bless You."
I said the same thing back to him. I guess I felt fortunate to be able to go eat and wanted him to be able to get something too maybe....

Tuesday Commentary

I woke up earlier than usual. I was alert, eager, and excited for the day.

Sometime about 10am, I lost that feeling....sigh...

The man who died in Sunday's Chicago Marathon was a police officer who had a heart condition, the autopsy showed. Did not die of heat problems. This is what I read in the paper today.

I got angry today and then I got angry AND frustrated at myself for feeling angry. BECAUSE, too often, i allow myself to get angry at the same shit....uugghh. Bang my head against the wall!!! I need to meditate. Seriously.

Went to the gym after work and as I was about to leave the dressing room to go out and run on the THRILLMILL when I noticed about 4 women sitting or standing and watching ELLEN on the TV in the lounge. I stopped to see what was the big deal: KATE WALSH was on. You better believe I grabbed a seat and watched the show....ahhh....the day got better. :)

Two good looking flicks are coming out this friday: We own the Night and Michael Clayton.....will be a good weekend at the SHOW!

I wonder what the world would be like today if Martin Luther King Jr. was alive today and sending his messages. We don't have anyone like that anymore. What figure out there is inspiring? Motivating? Uplifting? I cannot think of anyone. Maybe it's up to us...each of us in our own individual ways.....

I went to a coffee shop i don't normally go to and got a small coffee to go. As I was about to add cream, i noticed it was way too full and I needed to dump some out. The only place I could see was the trash can, but i didn't want to put the hot liquid in there. So, I noticed some water cups right there that I could use. By the time I had "fixed" my cup of coffee, the barista had come over and I said, "oh, the cup was too full, so i put the extra in this cup instead of the garbage." She smiled. "oh, that's nice. that was very kind of you."
That made me smile. And I went on my way.

Sometimes, people REALLY need to think before they speak. Seriously.

enough said.

More Commentary

I am of the belief that people come into your life and there are lessons exchanged. I also believe the people who occupy a lot of your time, energy, etc...(positively or negatively) are those where the lessons are the biggest. But, sometimes....it is just plain TOUGH to GET THE FREAKING LESSON....

I drink gatorade and powerade after long runs and i do like gatorade better. it doesn't seem as sweet. But, the flavor i like best is called "Citrus Orange (or orange citrus)" and it is not available at too many places AND if it is, it is usually in the 32 oz. bottle, which i prefer not to buy. What is a thirsty girl to do??

A couple of friends surprised me the other night with a homemade dinner, 'happy birthday' streamers and signs and a homemade birthday cake with candles. IT WAS SOOOO COOL! I cannot even remember the last time I made a wish and blew out candles. It was pretty neat.

I'm itching to go roll some dice and trying to figure out where and how to make it happen. Where is my magic carpet when I need it?

i LOVE going into running stores. I slowly walk around and check out all the stuff: apparel, shoes, magazines, race postings/entries. It's truly my candy store. Just recently I bought a new pair of UNDER ARMOUR shorts.

I do not like the GEICO caveman commercials...they gross me out! And i don't think they are funny. Please tell me I am not alone....

Got word from my brother. His letters are wonderfully simple, tender. In my last letter to him, i told him i was waiting to hear on the promotion at work...
"I'm praying for your promotion at work...keep up your great work at your job. if no one pats you on the back for appreciation - God sees you."
He is my only connection to family. His letters are comforting.

I'm 3 for 3 on some baseball bets! AND I CANNOT BELIEVE Cleveland Browns are 16 points underdogs vs. New England on Sunday. Browns will cover. You heard it hear.

Happy Friday!

I read this somewhere a long time ago and have always remembered it:

Rather than measure our days by the usual standards of productivity, perhaps we can ask these questions: how have i loved today? what are the qualities of the gifts i have given? have i laughed?

Commentary

I dreamt of a very old friend last night. Someone I have not seen or spoken to since i was about 15 years old. Weird. What the heck does it mean....
After dinner last night, I went to see THE VALLEY OF ELAH with Tommy Lee Jones, Susan Sarandon, & Chalize Theron. A good show! Jones was AWEsome. A sad flick, though. I didn't get popcorn, but did get Peanut M&M's. I NEVER BUY PLAIN M&M's....
I have been having such a hard time with being "hooked" into a good book lately. I have started about 5 and had to put them down because they just didn't grab me...the most recent victim was Ayn Rand's ALTAS SHRUGGED. If i am missing something here, please let me know....I am not reading another dectective thriller by Michael Connelly
Have I ever mentioned on this blog that part of me wanted/wants to be a detective. I think it would be so cool...to find/collect evidence and find the assailants of different crimes. I dig that stuff. My mom used to say, "DIG".
I got a little scrapped up today during my room and it was kinda cool. It was such a beautiful day. AHHH. Perfect weather. Not a cloud in the blue sky. The warmth was soothing on my body as I sat outside to ice my ankle after my run.
I want a few things that are a bit costly: a digital camera & a new Apple Laptop. I don't NEED either, but I want them and I seldom want STUFF....
I got an gift card to REI for my b-day. Can't wait to use it. YIPPEE....
I have a little Weeping Buddha on my desk and it is one of my most favorite things in my house.
I have not heard from my brother who is in prison and it makes me wonder if he is in trouble and cannot write or what....?

When I first began drinking coffee, the only drink I would get was a Mocha with whipped cream. Funny. I never ever order that now. Have not in years....

Funny....

Also..how sad and disturbing monks are being killed in Myanmar

Climbing

"The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher." ~Thomas Henry Huxley

I have been on the same rung of a ladder for what feels like a VERY LOOOOONG TIME. I have had been patient, i have worked hard and i have had to dig deep to keep fighting ahead for that which is important to me. The time on the rung has not been easy. I kept looking up at the rung ahead and knew i could stand there, but i couldn't, just yet.

Well, after much planning, sweat, and yes, tears, i am on my way to the next rung.

On my 37th birthday yesterday, i found out i got the promotion i have been wanting at work.


I am thrilled, to say the least.

T2 would appreciate (or give me hell about this!):

One of the little quirks about me is that I have a tendency to keep strange things....like protective wrappers on things that need to be taken of. When she and I first became friends, she talked me into getting a cell phone. It took me a long time before I threw away the protective wrapper on my little Motorola StarTak cell phone. Boy, she used to get on me a lot about taking it off....after a long while, i finally did.

But...there are other things as well. I also have found I have a tendency to keep the valet tags on my keychain long after I have left a restaurant or whatever place i was where valet was needed. Why? Why and the heck do i keep the tag? I have no idea....i just do and it's always a bit sad when i finally tear the tag off...

I am not bringing all this up out of the blue, as might be imagined. I was making a smoothie the other day in my too cool blender and I noticed, yikes, a piece of protective covering on the buttons and such. I had never noticed it before. I was tickled. So, what do you think I did?

I left it on....

In other news....I am extremely grateful to be getting a massge in about 15 minutes. I need some body healing after logging some good miles this past weekend.

The CLEVELAND BROWNS WON!! 51-44 yesterday over intrastate rival, Cincy Bengals. Obviously, no defense here, but a win is a win, baby! Go Browns!

September has got to be maybe my most favorite month of the year. It often reminds me of a new soccer season beginning. When I was in high school, this was definitely on of the best times for me. I recall the smell of the grass up there on 9500 Stearns Ave in Oakland, CA. It always smelled as though it had just been cut and the cool air from the bay would make it's way over to our area and just become suspended, it seemed. It was cool, not cold.
I recall lugging my bag into the locker to change...my shy self, so self-conscious about my body, back then....putting on my shorts, shirts, shinguards and cleats and making my way down to the field. I felt we were a select group, me and my teammates. And soon enough, we would form 2 lines and run our laps to warm-up. A precious time, that was. Very memorable. And so, Fall....reminds me of those later afternoons, early evenings at B.O.D.

mirror mirror on the wall

when was the last time you really looked at your face?

really looked. without judgement of good/bad...but just really looked at who you are. what you look like.

take a look.

there doesn't need to be a body for there to be a death

she combed my long hair and fixed it into something nice instead of my usual ponytail. she bought me my first ever pair of Nike shoes. she made the best scrambled egg sandwiches. she had pudgy fingers. she drank pepsi, coors. she loved motown music. she always referred to San Francisco as "the city", her hometown. she was loyal to All My Children & General Hospital. she bought me my first bike, a red Schwinn 10-speed. she saw me run. she listened to my horrible attempt at playing violin. she cried while reading every card i gave her. she was very sentimental. she liked to sing. she was strong in her convictions. she would not back down. she was open to all people, regardless of color, etc.. she enjoyed celebrating all the holidays. she made wonderful chicken and rice soup. she called me her angel. she said she knew i would make something of myself.

her name was Eileen Delia Funtanilla
she died at 40 years of age. today she would have been 64

Happy Birthday, Mom. Somewhere, their is a hellavua tear-jerker hallmark card addressed to you.

questions for you

are you more the pursuer or the pursued?

is it important to you that the people in your life know you care about them? do you show it or say it? both? neither?

do you have faith?

what was the last spontaneous thing you did?

do you feel valued in your work/profession?

would you feel comfortable being nude at an optional clothing beach?

has anyone ever sent you a drink at a bar?

do your parents tell you they love you?

how would you feel if your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife said they wanted to explore having an open relationship?

what do you want more of in your life?
what do you want less of?

do you believe in love at first sight?

what job, other than your own, would you like?

if you put down a bet on a rouleette wheel, what number what you bet on?

father & daughter

At the end of my run today, i walked about .5 mile as a cooldown to my car. Walking in front of me was a man and a little curly blonde girl. she was wearing lime green Crox sandles. she looked about 3-4 yrs old. as i was about to pass them, the man said, "let the lady pass."
she was sooo cute. her little body. her little Crox. he was well built, in-shape looking. he was carrying a bag in one hand.

I walked straight to my car and just leaned across from it on some concete edge of a yard. I was just sort of in a daze. sweating and just content to lean, stretch and watch people walk by this busy part of the neighborhood.

i looked to my left and saw the man and little girl coming towards my direction. he picked her up and carried her. as he got closer to me, i said "she didn't wanna walk anymore, huh? "Yeah" he replied. "That's exactly what she said." they passed and kept walking forward. he carried her in his right arm and bag in left arm. i watch them for awhile. she put her hand on his face and was touching, poking him, playfully, it seemed. so sweet. so tender.

i felt. a missing.

sports notes

I've got my CLEVELAND BROWNS cap on right now. I KNOW it's not football season YET ...but its a comin'! I just hope our freakin' new QB, Brady Quinn, actually SIGNS a freaking contract. This could actually be a very interesting season for the Brownies. Mind you, i said "interesting", not good. But, every year, i hope. i hope. i hope.

Now that Michael Vick has utterly embarassed himself, the team, the fans, this city....I will have a very hard time rooting for the Falcons. I know he most likley will not be around, but i just feel so sick of it all. He provided the excitement for this team and it was pretty cool. What a freaking waste.

Baseball season is going strong and even though SF Giants are in the cellar right now, it was pretty sweet to watch them take 2 out of 3 from the LA Dodgers in LA! I hope Bonds crushes some more balls and I hope Giants have a great rest of season. I'm Hoping. I'm Hoping...

Other than the Giants, I really have a hard time truly rooting for another team. i guess when you are a fan, you just ARE A FAN.
But, I feel like once playoffs come, i will have to root for a team. Maybe Arizona. They have a pretty cool, young team. I would also root for Florida, but they are not much better than SF. Oh well, there is always hope.

Seattle - Part IVb - (the much late finale)

Have been back from Seattle now for over 2 weeks and am just now relaying the last important parts. Sheesh.

As some of you readers now, I am a huge fan of Peets Coffee. (headquartered in Bay Area). Well, Seattle has a couple of stores and on my last 2 mornings in town, I went.

Sunday morning I took a taxi and was in heaven. I was so damn happy to be in Peets again!!

I got a small coffee and asked the barista to take a picture of me. She was startled. She had never been asked to take a picture of anyone in front of their store.

I love this picture. I am sooo happy. And it is sooo me: peets coffee in hand, race/running shirt, & a bandana.



I spent about 3 hours there, reading, on computer, and just sitting! Afterwards, went on a awesome 6 mile run with Lake Union in view and through the University of Washington's campus. Beautiful.

Monday morning i found the bus to take me there and stayed for another 1 1/2 hours. No where else I'd rather spend a free morning.

Overall: trip was relaxing and the breath of fresh air I badly needed. Great to get away and see some new sights and gain some perspective on many things. Seattle is an unspectacular city. No glitz or glamour. Nothing fancy. Which is exactly what drew me to it even more.

Cheers!

Seattle - Part IVa - finally some photos

(Since I do not have a digital camera, my photo postings are sporadic and rare, but here are a few from the trip!)





Beautiful Safeco Field



Me (with, YES, TRIN, my SF Giants CAP!!)

Seattle - Part III

Friday: Woke & had coffee in hotel cafe. Went for a short but challening 4 mile run. Ran from the hotel and up into an area called Capitol Hill. Lots of hills through there - along with neighborhoody shops, cafes, etc...Winded through parts of downtown and back to the hotel. Nothin’ to exciting, but at least i got to see another part of the city if i wanted to go back & explore more.

After lunch, i went shopping again and ended up purchasing some trail running ADIDAS shoes. I couln’t help it. 30% off. Hard to pass up. Also bought a new skirt for work. Who-Hoo!!

Fast forward to the evening: Rode the FREE bus to SAFECO Field, home of the Seattle Mariners. They were playing host to Detroit Tigers and i decided to check out the game and stadium. I was lucky to arrive in one piece considering the herky-jerky way our bus driver drove. He must have tapped the breaks a million times. i am NOT KIDDING. A couple of guys exited before me and said sarcastically, to the driver, “thanks, that was fun”. Yeah, thanks mr. bus driver for making us all jerk back and forth in our seats. If you had back or neck problems, that was not the bus ride for you.

Bought a cheapie tix and wandered around the stadium. beautiful! I watched about 5-6 innings of the game and returned to hotel. Kinda tough for me to get excited about the American League game when i have been a National League fan my entire life. Neverthess, it was cool to be out on a gorgeous evening and seeing a new ballpark. These stadiums i now have under my belt: AT&T Park, Oakland A’s Park (whatever that is called) Atlanta’s (old) Fulton County Stadium, Atlanta’s (new) Turner Field, Coors Field, Citizen’s Park and now Safeco Field.

SATURDAY: ran in a different direction out of hotel. Just over 5 miles that took me very close to famous SkyNeedle and into neighborhoods a neighborhood called Queen Anne. Some hills, but nothing too steep. Much less traffic than last 2 days. One the return route, I ran closer to the water and was happy to suck in some fresh air. How awesome it has been to run in 70 degrees weather, on my own time frame and not to beat the heat or after long days at work. I have felt happier and less stressed under these conditions. i think also just a good change of scenery for my routes has been motivating.
Afterwards, I headed over the Pikes Market in all its glory. If you want fowers, that is the place to go. Flowers in abundance there: lily’s, roses, and buckets & buckets of sunflowers. AHHH -- it was gorgeous. A sunny saturday, lots of people out milling around, shopping, eating etc... I stopped into a little cafe to grab a snack and sat and did some people watching. Shortly afterwards, I boarded the ferry traveling to Bainbridge Island. A thrill of a ride. I stood on the top deck and just soaked in the sights. The water, the islands off in the distance, Safeco Field, Qwest Field(home of Seattle Seahawks) and as the Seattle skyline as we moved further west. Bainbridge was definitiely a highlight. A quaint island with neat shops, restaurants, etc.. ate some incredible fish & chips at the Harbour Pub while drinking a Mac & Jack’s Serengheti Wheat Ale. AHH - delicious. Bought some books at an independent bookstore, which was a delight since i don’t think Atlanta has ANY! On my walk back to the Ferry, I caught a woman licking an Ice Cream and asked here where she got it. MORA’s was the place and my oh my! I had a scoop and 1/2. Full scoop was Mint with Shaved Chocolate and 1/2 scoop was Pistachio. I tell ya, that is some of the best Ice Cream i have ever had. I tried to savor it, but i slurped it down pretty fast. Ferry ride back was just as awesome as the ride over. Sometimes, you just gotta feel the wind on your face!!

Seattle Part II

After dropping my bags off in my room on the 42nd floor with a wonderful view of Puget Sound, I headed out the door for some grub. Luckily, the place the front desk recommended for my famished self was directly across the street. At the Icon Grill, i sucked down a delicious cup of yellow pepper soup and a caesar salad. Afterwards, i walked up the block and into the heart of downtown with a Starbucks on every corner. There were tons of people out, lots of energy and a band playing “i get by with a little help from my friends....” song. Festive indeed, especially with the sun shining upon us.
I walked into an ADIDAS store. Oh my!! I was gonna be in trouble! They were having a sale where almost every shoe was 30% off and I saw about 3 that i liked. yikes! I restrained myself & only bought a pair of sweatbands, while giving myself an opportunity to THINK about buying ANOTHER new pair of running shoes.
I felt my food was digested after a bit so I went back to hotel and put my running gear on. I was not gonna go far. I was exhausted from the week and the travel, but after not running for 4 days, I really ached to get my body moving and plus, I wanted to get up close and personal with the water!

One of the best thing about running is that you can use it to explore a new place and that is exactly what i intended to do. I asked the concierge about dinner options and she directed to me a place called Il Bistro which was located in Pikes Market...in the direction I was headed.
I hit the streets and headed west. Zigzagging through people and cars & up and down some small hills, I found Pikes Market, Il Bistro & lots of other things. I went down some steps, crossed the street and was running parallel to the water. How does one describe the smell? It’s so distinct. I could smell it before I could see it. AHHH > > > > the water. I could see clear across to whatever islands were out there... Bainbridge, Vashon.
I started smiling and took some deep breaths....so happy was i to be at the water again!
Fast forward to dinner time and i walked back to Il Bistro. A quaint and quiet little Italian spot. I was all ready to order some pasta when i heard about the special. It was too tempting to pass up:

Dinner > Grilled Halibut, Fennel Mashed Potatoes, Heirloom Tomatoes w/ Basil.

YUM, YUM, YUM. I don’t think I have ever tasted better Halibut.

I walked back to the hotel, read some of my book and crashed. A tired traveler....

Seattle - Part I

One of my goals this year (as indentified on right hand side of blog) was to vacation in Seattle. Well, I made it. Here is part I of my trip.

Like I'm sure many people experience, the days leading up to my "vacation" were extremely hectic, stressful and chaotic. It was so crazy that I did not even get a chance to run for 4 days and THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING!!

So, Thursday rolled around and I was soon on my plane headed west. I brought reading material. The Might Heart, and the current issue of Fortune Magazine. I had my iPod. I was all prepared to sit tight for about 5 hours in the air.

The plane was a big one. Not sure what the actual # of it was, but it was big; it was one of those planes with 2 seats on the left, 3 in middle, and 2 on right side. So, as I am about to get all settled in and read, sleep, etc...I hear the loud noises of 2 small children directly in front of me. Actually, it was a whole family split between the 3 middle seats and 2 left had side seats. The 2 kids were probably 5, 6 or so. Man, were they loud, busy, ancy, bratty, etc... I couldn't help but think of T2 and how she would have sooooo loved this situation. I wonder if she would have said something to the kids or to the parents. They were constantly eating and throwing their food and the isle became cluttered with their shit. Um, Hello.... This is not your house or your play pen. There was food, wrappers, pencils, toys in the isle. NICE!

Actually, it sounds much more irritating than it was. I think i was just so happy to get on the plane that i couldn't even allow myself to get caught up with those kids. The thing that i noticed was just how much work they were and how i could not handle having kids like such. All the dad did the entire 5 hour flight was try to get them to settle down, quiet down, pick up after them, etc...Man, i was tired just watching him.

Anyways, somehow I was able to tune them out enough to read and listen to some tunes and shut my eyes a bit. Soon enough, I was in a city I had never been in and I was excited. Other than the kid stuff, the travel was smoothe. I checked into my hotel, the Westin, and was soon off to see the city.

Doctor, Doctor, Can't You See I'm Burning, Burning..

ok. you wanted to know.

angelina. jolie.

man, she is HoT.

watched a movie with her in it - Taking Lives -
very mediocre, but whatever.

She is smokin!

brad pitt. why?

I remember being about 10 and running away. I ran all the way across the street and found a spot between 2 buildings. I kept looking across the street towards my house to see if she would come look for me.

I remember the four of us dressed in our Sunday best and walking to the 10:00am Sunday service at St. Leanders

I remember going to the drive-in to watch Star Wars. All of us packed into the chipped painted maroon VW squareback. Blankets, popcorn, candy, soda pop.

I remember writing her a "thank you for all you have done for me" note on lined dark yellow paper, putting it in the mailbox, and telling her she had mail. it was a Sunday.

I remember her buying the 45" of CHARIOTS OF FIRE and us listening to it before my first ever track meet. I ran the 100 yard dash and beat 2 close friends in the process.

I remember her pudgy fingers and cheeks

I remember her icy, cold looks

I remember her tears. rage.

I remember the smell of our car even though i cannot describe it

I remember "stealing" change from her coats & sweaters as they hung from the doorknob while she was sleeping

I remember packing the car full of stuff when we went to Lake Don Castro and Shawdow Cliff in Pleasanton for water slides.

I remember car camping for the one and only time at Lake Camanche and feeling so free.

I remember being outside late at night with her and us saying together;

"Star light, Star bright
First star I see tonite."

iPhone - Apple craze

I stepped out of my office and walked over to the mall just now. I am writing this post from the Apple Store in the mall. YES, there are MANY folks lined up (well, sitting on chairs and floor mostly) waiting for when the first purchase of the iphone can be made. Apple will close its stores at 3pm i believe and then re-open at 6pm for the big launch. A screen beside me says "374 minutes..."

Awesome. I hope sales go nuts. I hope people love the product.

Whatever you think about Apple as a company, you have to admit they have revolutioned our digital world. Hats off to them.

GO NUTS!!

odds n ends

This is a compilation of perhaps quirky or unusal things about me:

1) I look under hotel beds before going to sleep just to make sure no psycho-killer or dead body is underneath

2) I've never eaten a Big Mac, Whopper or Banana Split

3) I check my alarm about 7 times before going to sleep

4) I read books and listen the the braves baseball games at the same time

5) I've never seen "It's a Wonderful Life", "Miracle on 34th Street", or "Casablanca"

6) I hug myself

7) I think most women look better WITHOUT make-up of any kind

8) I didn't know what a papsmear was until age 21

9) I don't really enjoy zoos or aquariums

10) I don't like sushi or artichokes. (it seems most people like these)

Comics, Matches & "J"

A long weekend in Chicago seems long past just days after Trin (T2) and I boarded our Airtran flight back home to Atlanta.

Memories linger; getting text messages from Kelly about her horrible 3-4 time flight delay out of SFO, seeing the price of gasoline as we bumped along in our shuttle van, $3.79! Yikes!; feeling the giddiness of meeting blogging pals and the excitement of being back in a city I adore.
Trin & I had time to ourselves as we waited for R.D.’s arrival at ROCKIT Bar and Grill. This was the 1st place I was able to collect matches. Yep, I’m a match collector. 1 beer and 1 cosmo later, I returned from the bathroom to see R.D. in the flesh! There she was sitting with Trin at the elevated table by the window. Wow. In the person, a pal from blogger.com. Wow. All her posts and comments to my posts finally come to life. Wow. Yep, I saw wow a lot. I think I might have just stared at her for a second because I do that...i just look when I am a bit startled. I have this innocence and awe about me...so sometimes, I am just in awe of things and people and I just stare. I forget that it may be weird for the other person, but really...I am just trying to get a grip and yes, soak it all in. Soak the moment in.
Finally, we get word from Kelly of her long-awaited arrival. I met her across street and we put her bags in the room. We left and met the girls and 2 more cosmos later, we were all settled in and talking and sharing. It was so comfortable, as if we had known each other for quite some time. No awkwardness at all.

Next day we went to another place called, T’s bar and restaurant where I got more matches.

Next day we met up for a delicious brunch followed by a walk in the nieghborhood. A beautiful, sunny, Chicago day. I walked happily knowing I had already gotten my run in for the day. Walking back toward the car, we stopped and lingered at an open area just outside the brunch place. Lots of people out, enjoying the sun. There was an elevated cement area where myself, R.D. and Trin all sat, not talking. Both of them had some shades on and I just got full sun. Kelly was off in the shade with R.D.’s love, C. I looked over at them and they were in full discussion...chatting away as if they had known each other for like 1o years. So, there we were...full bellies and all...soaking up the sun and the light guitar sounds of a man in black that looked like a mix between Gene Wilder and Richard Simmons.

Last night together, we ventured out to a fru-fru place down the block from our hotel called Pop’s Champagne. I think we were all a bit intimidated by the menu, but luckily my pals trusted me to make a choice. I chose a place I know, but have never tasted. “J” is the name. Simple. Located on the outskirts of the Dry Creek Valley in Sonoma County, CA. A wonderful rose Champagne we had. Maybe the best I have ever had.

Somewhere between meeting up and leaving, R.D. made a comment about how weird it was to have us there...as if we were comic strip characters come to life. A pretty cool and accurate description of what it all felt like. It was a very special and fun weekend.

And if we are comic strip characters, I get to be Charlie Brown.

...Just Saying...

an old friend...

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

-M A Radmacher

this and that

Not much posting lately as I have been seriously under the gun at work and such. Just wanted to note some things that will sound kinda random, but here they are:

Last Saturday, I went to a very small gathering(fundraiser) for Hillary Clinton. Very cool, indeed. To watch her, hear her speak, shake her hand and look into her eyes was very cool. Not sure who will get my vote, but she hasn't done much to sway me from her.

Also on Saturday, I went to the mall to buy some freaking clothes which I sorely need. And Monday morning, there I was at work, in a nice black skirt, blouse and blazer. I RARELY wear skirts, so i always seem to get a lot of compliments, which is nice. And, I will say, I do have nice legs!! :)

Sadly, the Warriors run is over. They were only able to eek out one win against the Utah Jazz. However, they brought an excitement and thrill to the playoffs that was so awesome and very needed in the NBA. Now, the same BORING teams are left. I could care less who wins. San Antonio? Gimme a break!! BORING.

And on a much more positive note, tomorrow, some of us will be gathering in CHICAGO! and hooting and hollering over memorial day weekend. YIPPEE. CHEERS!!

Making it better...

what a shitty week it was. stressed. exhausted. then, a great thing happened late friday night!











Man, I LOVE watching playoff sports. Watching the game last night was thrilling. Seeing all the fans in their yellow "WE BELIEVE" t-shirts. The place was nuts!!

What a high! There is no team in the NBA more exciting, hands down. Keep it going warriors! You got an old fan over here in the southeast rooting her crazy head off for you!!

Meet Me - Part II

To read PART I, see part I

The day after the fedex was mailed, of course, she had to actually call the hotel in Houston and make sure it arrived and that the concierge or whomever delivered it to E. She only had one day to make sure it had arrived. So.

Packaged received and delivered. Now, it was all up in the air. It was all very fun…not knowing. The knowing E. would have received the package by now, but the not knowing of her answer.

2 days later, Saturday arrived. She spent the day doing her usual things: going to the market, the post office, the cleaners and while she did, she noticed a mixture of excitement and anxiety. Anxiety? Nervousness? And then more excitement. She found herself at the counter of the bakery, not paying attention to her surroundings and just simply smiling at thought of the evening.

It was a gorgeous day in town. The spring weather had brought beauty, freshness, and a slight afternoon breeze that carried on into early evening.

In her mind, she had to decide what to do if E. did not show. A no brainer, really. She would stay and have dinner anyway.

She made the short drive to the restaurant and the young valet chap opened her door, smiled, took her keys and parked the vehicle. She arrived a bit early to grab a cocktail at the bar. She sat in perfect view of the valet circle where she would see E. arrive, if indeed that turned out to be the case.

Sitting at the small, under populated bar area, she fiddled with her cocktail glass and phone. At this point, she felt confident E. would show. Just a gut feeling she had. She took a few more sips of her cocktail, the shaved ice cooling her warm throat.

Looking at her phone, the time was past the hour. It was fifteen minutes passed the hour. E. was notoriously late so she wasn’t sure how long she would actually wait. Fifteen more minutes, she thought. After that, I go to my table. Alone.

Twenty minutes after the hours passed and quickly she was determining that for whatever reason, E. would not show. She wasn’t angry.

This is how she set it up. No RSVP.

She asked the bartender woman for the check and just as she was about to pay, she took one last look outside. There, she saw her. She had showed. She saw E. coming out of her vehicle while handing keys to valet chap. Even from a distance, she saw she was moving fast, worried that she was so late, looked a bit frazzled.

E. entered the restaurant and saw her sitting at the bar. She gave her a wonderful, beautiful smile. They went on to have a fabulous meal at 213 Palm Drive

Ahhh, YES!!

Mickael Pietrus, DUNK!









Coach Don Nelson and Baron Davis










Exhuberant fans watching somewhere on TV!

The Little Team that Could

The past 2 weeks or so have been dayys of extreme excitement as my favorite basketball team, THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS (from Oakland, CA) Warriors
Made their way into the NBA Playoffs for the first time in 13 years. As a bay area native and growing up in the town next to Oakland, I have followed and been a fan of the team since my youth.
Not only has this been their first post-season trip in 13 seasons, but they also had to win almost every single one of their last games. I believe they went 9-1 in their last 10 games and they just eeked in.
What was their gift? To face the best team in basketball, the number one seed in the WEST, the DALLAS MAVERICKS. Now, on the face of this matchup, anybody would think the warriors would be easily swept in the first round, leaving their many fans with only the brief joy of MERELY making the playoffs. BUT, if you were to look closer, you would have seen that the warriors has beaten DALLAS the last 5 times they had faced each other. They were the only team all season to have a winning record against the MAVS. To understand the gravity of this, maybe you have to understand some of the history of the Warriors. They have been awful the past 10 years, at least. AWFUL. They were even pretty disgraceful many years. The rebuilding just wasn't working. New coaches weren’t able to get anything going. The team suffered and sat at the bottom of their division year after year. It was 
hard to watch, to say the least.

Fast forward to this season:

As a person living in eastern time zone, it has been a challenge to
watch the games because they have almost all begiun at 9 or 10pm. I have
forced myself to stay up at least to watch the first half of the games.
EXCITING BASKETBALL, folks!! The team is made up of a bunch of guys who
are not all that well-know, i.e. No superstars. They are small and
agile and determined! They remind me of the days when it was TMC: Tim
Hardaway, Chris Mullin and Mitch Richmond. Those guys made every game, win
or lose, exciting. And they worked hard. They were not showboats, they
just played hard. I even think word had it that Chris Mullin was
probably the hardest working guy in the NBA. No one could match his work
ethic.
Ok, back to current Warriors: To make it even sweeter, this is the
first year back to golden state for coach Don (nellie) Nelson. He was their
coach long ago and a very well liked and respected coach. His last
coaching job: his foe, The Dallas Mavericks. Who do think knew their team
better than anyone else?

So, what happened?
Warriors stun all basketball watching folks and bookies and win game 1
in Dallas.

Game 2 goes to the Mavs

Game 3 -Warriors smash 'em in Oakland-teams first home playoff win in
like a billion years.

Game 4-Warriors win. Again

Game 5-Dallas wins at home in texas. Barely.

Game 6- back to Oakland. Warriors win convincingly!!!

They are a team with a bunch of guys not making nearly what shaq or
kobe make. They are guys who just want, want, want. And they are a team
with a hellavua coach. They are a team, representing Oakland and the
entire Bay Area and its fans who are utterly starved for what they have
provided.
To me, this is one of the most exciting and precious times in sports.
It is fun and inspiring. Win or lose from here, they have shown what
true Warriors are!

pleasure

Tonight, I am having dessert.

A big, chewy, chocolate chunk pecan cookie. with milk.

I’m not sure it gets any better than this.

meet me

just when she wasn’t looking, she found a card. the perfect card. she wasn’t sure when she would send it, but she knew who is was for. “better buy it now”, she thought, and “worry about sending it later.”


later that evening, she was thinking of the one who gets her all stirred up. they hadn’t seen each other in a while and it was bothering her. She remembered that E. was away at a conference and she wouldn’t be back in town until later in the week. Suddenly, she thought what to do with the card. She would fedex it to her with a note.

First, she had to do some detective work and find out where in the hell she was staying in Houston. After some clever maneuvering, she found out it was the Westin Hotel.

Now all she needed to do was prepare the package. She wanted it to be something different; something unexpected and alluring. She took out the card from her bag and opened it. She read the words on last time before sealing it and sending it off to another state. The caption on the card read:

“We do not remember days. We remember moments.”

Beneath it were her own words to E.

“Care to share another one?

Meet me at 213 Palm Dr, this Saturday at 7 p.m.

Don’t RSVP. I know you will be able to come if I see you there...”

She smiled rereading what she had wrote and got a tingling in her stomach. In all honesty, she was tickled by herself and her own cleverness and spontaneity. She smiled at the thought of E. receiving a fedex at a hotel while out of town.

Her pulse quickened at the thought of whether E. would show or not. It was definitely exciting, the NOT KNOWING. And she truly hoped she did not get a RSVP. She didn’t want to know. She just wanted her to show or not show. Period.

She put the card in the fedex it, sealed it and attached a label. Fairly soon, the fedex guy or gal would be there soon for the late morning pickup.

had to blog about this...

it happened last weekend. i woke up saturday morning, in the little cabin rental, with a huge sold sore on my bottom lip. i have only gotten this maybe 2 times before, but never so bad or painful as this time.

so. before heading out for my trail run, i stopped into the Food Lion and bought a powerbar and looked for some ointment to put on this thing! i’m not too savvy with medicinal products, but i remember someone saying something about Neosporin.
So, i bought the neosporin. Nevertheless, it didn’t seem to work and so i just dealt with it. i guess you just have to wait these things out, i thought. the thing was pretty damn ugly for 48 hours, but by the time i got to work on monday, it didn’t look so bad. However, i just KNEW that some people would make comments about it, or just look at me funny.

So, of course, I walk in and talk to my buddy, AJ, and she says, “hey..Oh, YOU GOT A FEVER BLISTER”. As if i didn’t know. I don’t mind AJ saying anything cause she is my pal and even told me what medicine i SHOULD have bought.

As the day progressed, a few people i came into contact with simply said, “wow..what happened to your lip?” If i were quicker on my feet, i would have been able to say that i got into a fight or was kissing someone for too long or something really clever. BUT, I AM NOT QUICK ON MY FEET.

It just really cracks me up that people even ask the question: “wow, what happened to your lip?” I mean, they have no qualms about it. I would never ask someone that question. maybe a close friend, but not a co-worker.

Then, yesterday, i went across the street to the grocery store. Being that i go there about 4 times a week, i and the cashiers are familiar with each other. We don’t carry on conversations or anything, but we smile at each other and say hello. we know we recognize each other. When i went in at lunchtime yesterday, the cashier greeted me and then saw my cold sore and said, “oh, you have a cold sore” in her soft, somewhere accented voice. Her nametag reads FATITMA. She was sweet about it, like she was caring. However, this completely made me crack up laughing as I left the store. A virtual stranger making a comment about my damn cold sore. Up until then, I had no thought of blogging about it, but after Fatitma comment, i just had to.

People never seem to amaze!! What a hoot!!!

Water

water is amazing. it can heal. it can hurt. it can ruin things, destroy things. it can be calm and soothing and it can be raucous and treacherous. it can take a life. it can save a life. too much of it and it can devastate. too little of it and it can devastate. isn’t it interesting how even with water, we learn balance. it teaches balance. a surfer needs to balance just so on the water to do their thing; runners need to balance their water intake with their output. farmers NEED water for their crops, grape vines need water to grow in order to turn grapes into wine. Less and less water, and there is drought. more and more water and there are floods. both damaging, both potentially very detrimental from an physical and economic standpoint. so many things are interconnected, interdependent through water, alone.

Water seems such a huge part of my days, my existence. i am constantly going to the breakroom at the office to refill my water bottles. (and thus, constantly, going to the bathroom)
i am constantly aware of my need to go to the store to BUY water. BUY water. Amazing, isn’t it. Isn’t it in great abundance all around us, but we need to PURCHASE IT? And like so many other products, their is a range from unattractive packaging to very sexy packaging. Is it a Coke bottled water or a Pepsi bottled water? A FIJI or an Evian or the Starbucks EOS? Or the even sleeker, sexier, VOSS bottled water? Even the water bottlers/companies have figured how to package something and charge outrageous amounts. We pay more for water per gallon than we do for gas. much more. just consider that for a second.....

so many people get so angry and outraged at the price per gallon of gas; what about the price per gallon of WATER?

When did we even begin to buy bottled water? i recall the first time i really felt like i NEEDED to: in 1992, when i traveled in Thailand and Nepal.

Anyway, i crave water. I crave it on a hot day when i am out running and have none. I am appreciative to go into a starbucks, all sweaty and parched and ask for a cup of water. they offer the COLDEST water out of any place i know. and when you just ask for it, it’s free.

I crave it while living in a city completely landlocked, with any big body of water about 5-6 hours away.

However, here i sit on a saturday morning, lucky to be in the woods, in a cabin nestled between 2 little creeks. Water flows by as i write and i can hear it streaming over the rocks and on it’s way to wherever it goes. I am grateful for the sound, the scene.

...Hence, this post on H20. Drink and be merry!

Cheers!

Instantaneous Responses

hottest woman: halle berry

best drink: coffee, peets

most unlikeable person: Don Imus

best smell: carnation flowers

best smell i miss: Eucalyptus trees

most annoying: SF Giants 2-7 start to the season, uugghh

most exciting: Atlanta Thrahsers first ever playoff game tonight

hottest music video: Madonna’s “VOGUE”

place I want to go: Lake Tahoe

biggest dream: finishing an IRONMAN

favorite article of clothing: big, fuzzy socks i got at xmas

last thing that made me blush a little: cute girl at coffeeshop talking to me

best part of my day: early AM, having coffee, being quiet

what i miss: big hugs from my closet friends

what i miss #2: water

what i am waiting for in the mail: hopefully an entry into PEACHTREE RD RACE

what i am saving for: BLOGGER TRIP TO CHI-TOWN. YIPPEE

what i’m craving: Almond Croissant

song in my head: ‘GREATEST LOVE OF ALL’ -by Whitney

“I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadow. If i fail, If I succeed, at least I’ll live as I believe...”


CARE TO SHARE, FRIENDS???

Happiness from the week

happiness is: waking up at 4am to go to bathroom and realizing i have 2 more hours of sleep til i have to get up. yeah. i love sleep!

happiness is: waking up to see the SF Giants won their ballgame last night.

happiness is: having the day off for Good Friday

happiness is: making my very first batch of Guacamole!! Yummy

happiness is: going for a run in very cool temperatures after running in warm/humid conditions.

happiness is: watching The Masters on TV

happiness is: getting a good review @ work and an even better RAISE

happiness is: getting my running magazine in the mail

happiness is: time to linger with a good cup of coffee

happiness is: brining the receptionist at work a “treat” when least expected

happiness is: having enough $ to pay for large, unexpected expenses without accruing debt

happiness is: finding a great pair of trousers for work, on sale

happiness is: finding self at weeks end and realizing i stuck to my budgeting plan

happiness is: a great nights sleep

Feel free to share your “happy” moments from the week or...whenever..

Cheers!

some sun and rain......

what a week! last sunday, i finished my 5th marathon and the days that followed were filled many aches and pains, attention and just a weird week. The marathon was the toughest one i have ever done. if you want to read why, see oneingatl.blogspot.com.

my body was limited to a slow shuffle at work on monday; my thighs torn up from the many hills we had to climb...each time i rose from my desk, i felt like i had 100 lb weights on my quads. It was not a sweet pain wherein, the past it had been. Because I was disappointed by the effort I was able to put forth and my ultimate finish, the pain seemed every worse. After every other marathon, i have beenleft with sweet pain that is satisfying and gratifying. not this time. i am not saying i am not proud to have been out there, i’m just also disappointed. i can be both. right?

thank goodness for my pal, AJ, at work. she is my confidante, buddy, one to joke and tease with and even, a little gossip here and there. and this week, i realized how important it was to be able to have someone with WHINE to. Thanks, AJ. She put up with my whining about my body all week. I am not one who easily whines, but i suppose due to how our friendship has developed, i felt very comfortablle whining away to her. By Friday, I think she may have been over it though. :)

Mid week brought some trickles of disconcerting news...none of which had anything to do with me, but somehow seeped into my psychic space or something like that...the first was that there was a news report out that at a nearby highway overpass, a woman had jumped. suicide. i pass the same spot each week. it’s always disconcerting to hear of a jumper...especially a jumper who chooses to jump and land on concrete. how much pain must one be in to make that choice?! A s someone from SF, i am quite familiar with hearing of jumpers of the beloved golden gate....but it wasn’t until last year that i heard of folks jumping from overpasses onto the highways. wow. makes my insides squirm.

same day, got a call from a friend who mentioned her friend’s husband was talking of suicide and had to be hospitalized.

next morning at work, i come in and greet AJ. Usually she is so bubbly and very talkative....not so that morning. with watery eyes, she told me that her ex-boyfriends(who she remains close too) daughter was sentenced to 10 years in jail. (about 2 years ago, she had been drinking, went wrong way on the highway and got into an accident, killing 2 young men)
Of course, the whole thing is tragic. tragic for her who had rarely been a drinker, who was a local successful college athete,who came from a white-collar family, who had a family of her own.

tragic for the lives lost. 2 young lives. my friend, AJ, feels for her friend and his fear and what he goes through as a father watching his daughter face the consequences of her actions.

Vehicular Involuntary manslaughtger is tough. As a person who lost my mother this way, i know it all too well. Back in 1983, this was not punished very much, as we learned the man who caused the accident was left to go free and unpunished from his actions. Where was justice? As a child, i had been so angry. Why did he get to be free when someone had died and others, nearly dead? It wasn’t until years later when i understood that he would have to live with his actions for all days. Could anything be worse?

I honestly don’t know what the penalty should be for this crime. You don’t mean to kill someone, buy you do. All I believe is that our justice system is far from justice...far....

Yesterday, clients came in to the office. A woman and her son. Her husband, his father, recently passed away very suddenly. He was my client & they came in to deal with some of his affairs. He had been a heathly 70 - something year old. Went out for his usual jog and when he stopped and cooled down, he collapsed. Cause of death was not determined. He was and they are a family of tremendous faith. Sitting and sharing and listening with them was solemn and very sacred. Their grief alive and yet so was their faith in their god. The gentleman had been in the marines much earliier in his life and so part of his funeral was military. The marines gave a 21 gun salute.The son said, “when i looked around at that point, i was so proud to be his son.” his words quiet and clear. I was lucky to be a witness.

Interspersed with all this was having to intereact with people in a much more cheerful way than i was up to...but you just do it..
And then, of course, there were much lighter moments....AJ teasing me about my aches and pains and saying, “ok. i was sympathetic on tuesday, but now, it’s friday, so...”

This seems to be an interesting post on the heels of the last one about bigness and smallness. On monday, it was easy for me to feel big because of the marathon achievement and all the folks in the office congratulating me and wasnting all the detaiils and such. it was nice, of course.

and then, little by little, i am reminded of my smallness. death has a funny way of doing that, doesn’t it?

Big and small

(written yesterday via blackberry)

Sitting outside on the big patio like area of the 19th floor. I have a
nearly 360 view of the city of atlanta. Its a beautiful sunny afternoon
and I am the only one up here, savoring my lunch salad and some quiet.
I come up here to get away and get some perspective. I come up here for
air and to see the beauty and the vastness around me. From way down
below, I hear many horns intermittenly blowing...I hear the roar of buses
and the slamming of car breaks. There are green trees everywhere and
interspersed are many homes and buidings, small and then bigger
skyscrapers. And even more being built as I type. From my view, I count 10
cranes...all within maybe 1-1/2 miles radius.
I am all one for being a confident, self-assured person. I'm all for
being a go-getter, and for celebrating one's success. I'm all for
supporting myself and others to be big.

I also like being reminded of my smallness. Coming up here reminds me
of just that....my smallness. Just now, a plane roared up above...a
plane full of people going somewhere. And invariably, as I sit up here and
enjoy my salad and space, someone is giving birth, someone is breathing
their final breath, someone is being buried, someone is committing
suicide, someone is sending flowers to their love, someone is crying,
someone is laughing, someone is trying our for a part, someone is locked in
prison, someone is swimming, someone is screaming, someone is making a
bomb, someone is finding a cure, someone is getting starbucks in brazil,
someone is buying loads and loads of weapons, someone is getting high,
someone is getting off, someone is holding a child's tiny hand, someone
is wheeling someone around in a wheelchair, someone is....

There is so much happening all the time everyday. Everything is
important and nothing is important.
It's great to be big.
And it's great to remember how small I am.

tid-bit

hot hostess in a lovely spring dress opens the door for me as i come in. recognizes me. calls me sweetie. opens the door for me as i leave. calls me sweetie again. damn. hot hostess.

does service get any better?

Thursday

today, i did one thing that i never do. well, two things really. one, i left work a whole hour early. the second thing was the bigger thing: i came home and took a bath!
last night after my massage, my masseuse recommended that i take baths with bath salts....for my aching calf muscles. she is not the first person to tell me this, but for some reason, she was the one who actually got me to take the advice. so, on the way home early from work, i stopped in and bought some bath salts specifically for healing muscle aches. after doing some cleaning, laundry, etc..i started the bath. mind you, i am not a big fan of baths. maybe because i don’t have a tub like Trinity, but still....i have just never really been a bath kind of girl. also, my bathtub is not one that is real motivating to go soak in. it’s old --- my dwelling, while very cozy and comforting, is old and the bathtub is just not something i fantasize about ---know what i mean? Well, i put the bath salts in and soaked and it was quiet and it smelled good...eucalyptus with somethin’ else. not only was it great to soak, it was wonderful to just be still and quiet. ...
i have not felt “right” for about the past 7 days and i can’t quite figure it out. and then today, i was just downright cranky and grumpy. my body has not felt right and that is hard for me to accept and have patience with. i had a little of the sinus thing that has been everywhere and my body has been sore and slow and my running hasbeen much less that i would like. i feel pretty in tune to my body so when there are times when i don’t feel right, it affects me quite a bit.
and then of course, it can’t all be physical. there are other things going on in my mind that have been taking space. in some ways, i feel like i just need a break. i feel maybe a bit burnt out on my life as it is...the job, the living space, the neighborhood, the city, the things that make up my days....i wish i could take a month off and just go somewhere else or a few places and then come back. maybe i just need more balance in my life? that could be it too. i’m just sort of rambling here....

A line comes to me from “The Great Gatsby” (one of the best books ever written, in my opinion)

“There are on the pursued, the pursuing, the busy & the tired”

whenever i feel this way and share about it, i tend to feel guity...as though i may come across as not being grateful and appreciative of my life. is that strange? i do feel grateful and very appreciative of my life and actually, my life is good. what is strange is that i do spend quite a bit of time alone, but lately i feel as though that time has not been high in quality. that, i know i can change. and will.

this has been a kinda weird post, for me. it’s more of a true journal entry.

thanks for listening.

what's in your salad?

though i don’t eat nearly enough of them, i love salads. and one of the coolest things, i find, is to notice and watch what others put into their salads. I mean, people who are my friends, people i care about. Not just any random person. I like seeing how they create their salad at the salad bar. In my opinion, Whole Foods has the best salad bar ever created. And here is what I put in mine pretty much all the time:

spinach
fancy lettuce sans radicchio
corn**
a few cherry tomatoes
broccoli
carrots
pulled chicken
feta cheese

dressing: some mediterrean vinagrette.

YUMMY!

what’s in yours?

**i LOVE corn on my salad!

an important lesson about eating out

the other night, i had an appointment. just before i went in to appointment, i was going back and forth in my head trying to decide whether to go out to eat afterwards or come home and cook.

i decided to go out to a place where i really like their fish-n-chips. and they have good beer which i was in the mood for as well.

so,i get to the place and sit at the comfortable wooden bar, order my beer and look at the menu even though i already know what i want....

as i peruse the items, i see they have some pastas that sound good and healthy ...and of course with all the running, i need carbs....so, instead of the more greasy/fattening fish-n-chips, i order what i think will be a decent plate of bowtie pasta with some kind of tomato sauce.

i began eating it and let me tell you, it was such a major disappointment! it was almost tasteless. i was sooo bummed.

bummed beacause i was looking forward to eating out....

as i sat there, eating my less than mediocre pasta, i thought to myself, "lesson: go for the freakin' grease. get what you want."

...now i know why i often order the same things when i go to the same restaurants over and over. it's not that i am oppossed to trying new things; i just like what i like and when you looks forward to it, a mediocre or bad meal just sucks.

a bit about your hostess

i don’t own a digital camera

i have approximately 15 pairs of tennis shoes

i don’t understand the need to climb mt everest and such places

i have no tattooes and would never get any

i’ve never had a manicure or pedicure

i stole a bottle of peach schnapps when i was 17, got drunk with 2 boys who were my best friends and fell into the San Leandro Marina.

i’m a pro at Galaga, Pac-Man, Centipede, and Pinball games

i would be afraid to go scuba diving

i wanted and possible secretly still do want to be either an FBI agent, CIA agent or Detective

i love going to a nice spa for massage

i miss the water (landlocked over here in GA)

sometimes, i think i want to move to a 3rd world country

i LOVE rollercoasters, water balloon tosses, & pillow fights

i did very poorly on SAT

friends snorted cocaine in front of me in high school while i declined

i often feel like i don’t belong anywhere

i’m afraid to die

i want to be crermated

i aim to be grateful everyday for all i am and all i have

I can do a headstand, cartwheel and roundoff

i’m not a very good swimmer

i am mostly bored by shopping of any kind, except probably running shoes!

i often flirt with waitresses

i’m moody

right now my life mainly consists of working, running & reading

i love a good cosmopolitan

i love big, clean bathrooms
i love candles but can only seem to purchase 2 at a time

i don’t enjoy walking

my dream is to design my own house

i’ve dated someone who was once a stripper

i’ve had yucky coffee in Abilene, TX

i believe in a higher power/spiritual guidance

i loved going to church as a child, mostly because of the gathering aspect

i loved a boy, once

i don’t like it when people talk because they are uncomfortable with silence

i think i was a monk in a past life

i don’t know what to believe about this life -- afterwards

i don’t know how to drive a stickshift

i love to stand up, put my head back, extend my arms and TWIRL...


Cheers!

little thrill #2

when a woman has hair just long enough to put up, thereby exposing her beautiful long neck.

ahhh. so damn enticing.

wanna play?

ok. i'm gonna start writing a story and then at some point, i will stop and i hope the next visitor/blogger will pick it up and carry story on. either post it in the comments or carry it to your blog. i hope you will join me. i think it will be neat to see where the story goes...and what creative minds we have out there....say as much or as little as you want.



>>They sat at the small table in the crowded restaurant. Even at 9:30pm, the place was still fairly packed, although not too noisy. A near empty second bottle of Girard Petite Syrah stood on the table, next to the nearly fading, white, non-scented candle. She swirled the last bit of wine in her riedel glass. The delicate flame from the candle was illuminating what last little bit of red she had left. She looked across the table and said, "i've got to go to the restroom, i'll be right back."

She walked toward the back of the restuarant, passing the hostess who looked like she had just arrived. Her make-up looked fresh, not one strand of hair was out of place. How can that be, she mused to herself as she walked by. She sighed and made her way into the ladies room. It seemed empty and she was thankful. She went over to the sink with the golden colored faucet. The warm water felt soothing on her hands. She turned off the faucet, grabbed the white cloth from the brown wicker basket and dried her hands.
She looked up and started to slow her drying as she saw herself in the mirror.



(i hope u will pick it up from here....)

it's the little things that thrill

i absolutely love watching a beautiful woman put make-up on. sexy, sensual, hot.

(i am not even in to make-up. it's the ACT...)

mini-mini rant

can i just say that I really don't like doing that 'word verification' thing that some of ya'll have on your site. i always get tit wrong the first time. geez, are my eyes THAT bad.

Information: Part I

As I have mentioned before, I do not know my father. All I know is his first and last name. As is typical in my situation, I vacillate between wanting to try to find him and then not wanting to find him. Of course those usual questions arise such as: what will he look like? what will he be like? what will he do? will he turn away? is he a psycho-killer? is he a junkie? is he rich? will he want money from me?? Would he be someone I would want to spend time with? Does he have other children?

And then, of course, i sometimes think “well, why hasn’t he tried to find me?”
Maybe he has.

Maybe be has been unsuccessful since i do not bear his last name. The way the story was told to me by my grandmother was that he and my mother had a parting of the ways after she caught him in bed with another woman. And in spite, my mother gave me my brothers’ father’s last name. Now, listen. I’m not saying that is actually what happened. This is the story i was told by grandma who had a propensity to tell stories, and which i frequently questioned. However, knowing how much pride my mother had, I would not put it past her to do such a thing. Back then, i never had a choice as to what name i wanted. But, i am actually glad she have me the name i have. it’s much more interesting and always proves difficult for people to pronounce and misspell. And people always think i’m Italian, which i am not. Lots of questions always go through my mind: How am I like him? What physical characteristics do we share? Did I get my althletic ability from him? Would he like me? Would he be proud of me?

Dad. Pop. Daddy. Father. Papa

What would it have been like to grow up with a father? How might my life have been different? Better? Different. I cannot help but wonder how the lack of such a figure in my life has helped shape who i am. I think back to how there was a heavy concentration of men surrounding my early years, and yet not a single one of them was anything close to a father figure. Not a single one of them had qualities i would desire in a father. The men surrounding my life were criminals, drug addicts, thieves, gang members, jobless, and ambition-less. I surely did not look up to the uncle who frequently tried to stick his tongue down my throat or the one who was jobless, still lived with his mother, watched TV all day and sucked down beer after beer all night. I also did not look up to my cousins who were in gangs, hurting people, maybe even killing people, knocking up girls and using drugs. I looked in their eyes, stood in their presence and saw nothing to be proud of, nothing to look up to, nothing to admire, nothing i wanted to be near. Who did i look up to? Who did i admire?

Reflections

Yesterday, I was caught in a moment that left me feeling a bit teary and I did not know why. Here is what happened. As per usual, I stopped in at Starbucks in the early evening. I was in my own little world, having finished work and in a bit of a daze. It wasn't until the little young girl spoke that I came out of my daze. She says to the barista, "Can I have THAT chocolate chip cookie?" I looked at THAT cookie and saw the size of it. It was huge. I thought of saying to the girl, "wow, that cookie is almost as big as you are." But, I didn't. She was with an older, taller girl (but still young) who looked like she was her sister. Then, little girl asks the barista, "how much are your IZZE drinks?
Barista reply, "I don’t know. I have to scan it" Little girl walks over to the drinks and asks, which one is the cheapest.
Barista reply, "they are all the same." Little girl picks out the one she wanted and barista rung up her items.
As little girl unfolded the waded up dollars in her hand, she heard the total and said, "oh, I don’t have enough. I will have to put the drink back."

In a total spontaneous moment, I said, "oh, I'll get it." The little girl looked at me and was going to hand me the drink as though she thought I was going to buy it for myself. I said, "no, I'll get it for you." It was a little jumbled. She looked confused, the barista looked confused, the other girl looked confused. After payment was made and everything settled, older girl says to me in her wide, brace-laden smile, "that was very nice. Thank you."
Then to her sister (?) "did you say thank you?" Little girl thanks me and they move on. I then ordered a tall half regualr, half decaf coffee and as I do so, I realize I feel such tenderness. My eyes water. The Barista fella just smiles at me.

Why did this moment touch me so? As the evening went on and I went about my business, it came to me when I wasn't even thinking of it…I knew why…

Because as so many things have been on my mind lately, one of those things is family and connection and the absense of blood-related family. I am struck by the not new realization that this is it for me. No kids. Nothing of me will go on. No trait or characteristic solely belonging to me will be passed to anyone else. Of course, I made a decision long ago that I never wanted to bear a child. I have never wanted the experience of being pregnant. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of adopting a child. Well, unless I come into some windfall of money, that will not happen either. Perhaps because of my age, 36, I am realizing some of the lost opportunities. I do not regret my choice to not want to give birth, but this does not mean that I don't feel loss of that opportunity to care for and teach and nuture and love a little human being as they make their way into this world.
I know there are plenty of other ways to be involved in a childs life, but its not the same. And there are other things involved too. I have never known my father and my mother is deceased and I was THEIR only offspring. So, truly, I am it. Something about that stoppage is sad to me.
I envy people who have long lineages. People who truly can talk about their family tree, their history. It's neat and valuable, in my opinion.

With every choice, we are making a decision that will involve loss and gain. Sometimes, I don’t think we realize what we lose, yet it seems we see the gains so soon. In a perfect world, I would have had the money and the stability both inner and outer, to adopt a child when I was a it younger. Of course, there would be no physical charateristics, but I would have had an opportunity to be a part of a life in a very unique way.

This is all sort of coming from who knows where…thanks for listening.

Machete me in two, my love
For like the thin blade
I make myself thin and
Stradle the tightrope
Caught between the worlds of
Leaving & Staying
Pressing or Abandoning
Taking Care &
Caring for

Let the tip of the blade
Poke just underneath my chin
As the chill it would surely cause
Is the same as i sit here now
With my vodka glass, worn eyes
And a shakily written letter to you,
My love,
Crease and tear me down the middle
Leave the edges jagged
For surely,
That is how I will be
Jagged, rugged,
Bent, even
From the time of cowardice
That yanked, shook and shaped me
Into a person who could not jump
But only be pushed.

uurrrr

I seldom vent on this blog, but this is a vent today directed at the coffee shop employees, customers in the deli line and in the grocery line.

1)Don’t stand and talk to your co-workers about personal things while customers are waiting. They should be your first priority. It is especially rude if you make eye contact with customer, and CONTINUE to chat away with co-worker!

2)Don't stand there and chit-chat with customers about their hair, their dog, the weather or your boyfriend while other customers are waiting. (it's wonderful that you are being friendly, but while you are being oh so nice to customer A, customer B, C, D, E etc.. Are getting angry


3)Don’t be on the phone while you are trying to order from the DELI

4)Don't get all the way up to the DELI person asking for your order and THEN decide what you want

5)Don't wait until your large grocery bill has been tallied before you decide to THEN open your purse and dig around for your check

untitled

His gangily wobbly head rested on my shoulder
His eyelids were closed, intermittenly fluttering
Beneath the robe was his body, a body i had laid next to for 34 years
I knew every crevice, every man made and non man made mark
I knew which parts worked well
Which ones didn’t
I knew his body as well as my own
Yet, I am not the owner
I am not the inhabitor
So although I, too, have a long history with this body
I know not what it feels,
i don’t know the violent spasms and convulsions
I don’t know the painful, relentless bouts of vomitting or
The panic driven breakdowns that make him flail about in a daze
Hurting himself
Sometimes,
Hurting me

Touching his forehead with my fingers
i am taken back to a time
when this head was between my legs, silently moving to give me sweet pleasure
To a time when this head poked through my 3rd floor apartment, bringing me chinese food when i couldn’t step away myself
I am lost in the memories when this man fought for me to return to him
That bitter fight on the corner that changed my life
Begging me to stay, to give us another chance
And such is our history,
34 years later,
and
what i know is
this head on my shoulder
The eyelids fluttering
The soft, quiet breath of his mouth
So close to mine lets me know his life

And, on this quiet rainy night
As the teardrops slide down my cheeks,
I am begging him to stay