while having dinner with a friend lastg night, i got onto something that turned into something of a roll. we were talking about fear. being afraid of, afraid to, can't. and i went on to say these things: (even though i was talking to her, when i said "you", i wasn't just addressing her, i was addressing the great YOU, meaning all of us.)
"don't talk to me about can't. you either will or you won't. it's not that you can't. you can, but you are not willing. very rarely is someone NOT ABLE to do something. you CAN, but you DON'T...becasuse of various reasons. don't tell me you can't, tell me you are not WILLING to....you are not WILLING TO UNDERGO whatever it takes to do the thing or be the person you continue to say you can't. WE CAN.
just sit with how different it feels to say, i am not willing to do _____ instead of I can't. There is choice and there is power. We have choice and we have power, not only with our words, but with our actions.
I will no longer say, "i can't swim" when people ask why don't i do triathlons. i can swim, however, i am not at a competitive level. If i want to be more serious, i will have to get much more time in the pool and meybe get some coaching. But, I can swim.
GO. DO. BE. BE GREAT.
Cheers
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1 comment:
Great post. What you're talking about isn't merely semantics or trying to put a positive spin on something. It's a paradigm shift in how you approach your life and how you see the world.
I'm working on changing those "I can'ts". It can be quite a challenge to not knee-jerk into just saying it without really deciding if it's what I mean. Too often, when I utter "I can't", I'm also in the grips of "victim consciousness" which is a place from which I've worked very hard to extricate myself.
Thanks for the reminder about choice and power. :)
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