art..

i have a piece of art that describes love as follows:

Love is traumatic, belligerent, elusive and wondrous.



i have found these four words to be amazingly accurate.

don't u?

For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.

-Rainer Maria Rilke

This is one of my absolute favorite quotes, from an incredible poet/writer. It is not easy to love and anyone who may say otherwise i think is suspect. I mean, sure, it is easy to love when things are happening as you want with whomever, friend, lover, partner, pet, kid...whomever. But, when it is NOT smooth sailing, it can be a challenge to love. And yet, when we can love well...is there nothing better?

want

one of the toughest things to deal with, i think, on an interpersonal level, is when wants between two people don't match. It's interesting how reactions can range from simple irritation to downright devastation.

grappling...

"If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?"
-Rabbi Hillel

I have always loved this quote. for me, it really speaks to examing yourself, your motives and your ways of being with others.
I really grapple with the whole selfishness stuff...i feel that we are all selfish, but obviously some more than others. i feel i am less selfish than most of the friends i have and that is hard for me, at times. Should i be more accepting of them or more demanding of myself? I don't really know....

It's When

It's when you get older and the tables turn a little that you realize that getting love and giving love come as a package-that finding someone to love is as important as finding someone to love you. I look around and see so many people wanting to be loved, waiting to be loved, waiting for some big, generous, comforting, nourishing being to drop out of the blue into their lives and give them LOVE. Love with a capital EL. The question is: will it ever happen? Or will it ever happen the way they want it to happen? Can it really happen? Can it really happen that way?.....maybe, maybe.

-Richard Stine

no regrets

there have been times in my life when i have loved another with true abandon...the good kind...where i have let go and let myself love with abandonment. with wildness. with craziness. with carefree-ness. in those moments, it always felt good. in the moments, i always felt it was right.
there is nothing i would take back or change. i wrestle with wishing some interactions or relationships lasted longer, but i am trying to take the gifts for what they are. sometimes, it lasts a minute, sometimes a year. if i stay in "wish" mode, i will miss out on what is happening in the moment. i don't want to do that. maybe i am crazy....but moments, ahhh...i fall in love with moments....

can, cannot, will, will not

while having dinner with a friend lastg night, i got onto something that turned into something of a roll. we were talking about fear. being afraid of, afraid to, can't. and i went on to say these things: (even though i was talking to her, when i said "you", i wasn't just addressing her, i was addressing the great YOU, meaning all of us.)

"don't talk to me about can't. you either will or you won't. it's not that you can't. you can, but you are not willing. very rarely is someone NOT ABLE to do something. you CAN, but you DON'T...becasuse of various reasons. don't tell me you can't, tell me you are not WILLING to....you are not WILLING TO UNDERGO whatever it takes to do the thing or be the person you continue to say you can't. WE CAN.

just sit with how different it feels to say, i am not willing to do _____ instead of I can't. There is choice and there is power. We have choice and we have power, not only with our words, but with our actions.

I will no longer say, "i can't swim" when people ask why don't i do triathlons. i can swim, however, i am not at a competitive level. If i want to be more serious, i will have to get much more time in the pool and meybe get some coaching. But, I can swim.

GO. DO. BE. BE GREAT.
Cheers

Routines

have you ever really noticed how routinized your life is? why do we have routines? does it make us feel safe? comfortable? what are some of yours? do you like it?

"the way i see it..."

why is it that, in general, people always wait til they are deathly ill or someone else is or something of the sorts before they really start appreciating, really living? why do we need such a "shake-up"? I feel like I want to shout out: "this is it, folks. this is the moment we have. take advantage of it. yes, smell the flowers, smile, be bigger than you think you can be. go for it. whatever it is. just go for it." that is what i want to shout out. we are not prisoners. we are free. take advantage of this....this LIFE.

no title

how is it that we become so afraid that we become paralyzed to do anything, most importantly, to love and let in love?