i think we all might have something that is both a blessing and a curse. for me, it's my WANTING, my HUNGER. it's flared up again and made itself know and it feel like it is ROARING. it's not a wanting of someone or something but of something entirely different that i cannot even name. but, if you GET this..you know what i am talking about.
i am not a complacent one. i am not a contented one. and i couldn't be happier about this. i want challenge. i want to dig in and figure it out. i want to work and lose myself in the effort of the experience. i want to run 50 miles. i want to run all over the damn country and beyond. i want to be puzzled by that which is TRYING. and to me, these are blessings.
the flip side of this can be such a curse though...because it leads to much frustration and irritation at the rate at which these things happen...frustration & irritation from sometimes having to depend on someone else in order for me to move forward. and simple frustration because i get stuck and can't figure out WHY i am stuck.
i am not talking about happiness. to me, happiness is a fleeing kind of emotion. and when it comes, it's great.
i'm talking about something entirely different....entirely!
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4 comments:
Ok, Forest - I take it you're not talking about the half and half anymore? ;-)
-and, that we're going to Maryland again?
Sorry, need to be face to face with this discussion... but what's the 'blessing'? the actual wanting?
r.d. - yes
sometimes we are driven by something inside ourselves that almost escapes defining. and when we get sidetracked or don't reach the summits we think we should, it can be agonizing. the blessing, the hunger or fire itself, is beautiful because it often feeds something that simple 'happiness' cannot.
have i ever told you i really like fiery women...especially those with a quiet smoldering heat.
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