mirror mirror on the wall

when was the last time you really looked at your face?

really looked. without judgement of good/bad...but just really looked at who you are. what you look like.

take a look.

there doesn't need to be a body for there to be a death

she combed my long hair and fixed it into something nice instead of my usual ponytail. she bought me my first ever pair of Nike shoes. she made the best scrambled egg sandwiches. she had pudgy fingers. she drank pepsi, coors. she loved motown music. she always referred to San Francisco as "the city", her hometown. she was loyal to All My Children & General Hospital. she bought me my first bike, a red Schwinn 10-speed. she saw me run. she listened to my horrible attempt at playing violin. she cried while reading every card i gave her. she was very sentimental. she liked to sing. she was strong in her convictions. she would not back down. she was open to all people, regardless of color, etc.. she enjoyed celebrating all the holidays. she made wonderful chicken and rice soup. she called me her angel. she said she knew i would make something of myself.

her name was Eileen Delia Funtanilla
she died at 40 years of age. today she would have been 64

Happy Birthday, Mom. Somewhere, their is a hellavua tear-jerker hallmark card addressed to you.

questions for you

are you more the pursuer or the pursued?

is it important to you that the people in your life know you care about them? do you show it or say it? both? neither?

do you have faith?

what was the last spontaneous thing you did?

do you feel valued in your work/profession?

would you feel comfortable being nude at an optional clothing beach?

has anyone ever sent you a drink at a bar?

do your parents tell you they love you?

how would you feel if your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife said they wanted to explore having an open relationship?

what do you want more of in your life?
what do you want less of?

do you believe in love at first sight?

what job, other than your own, would you like?

if you put down a bet on a rouleette wheel, what number what you bet on?

father & daughter

At the end of my run today, i walked about .5 mile as a cooldown to my car. Walking in front of me was a man and a little curly blonde girl. she was wearing lime green Crox sandles. she looked about 3-4 yrs old. as i was about to pass them, the man said, "let the lady pass."
she was sooo cute. her little body. her little Crox. he was well built, in-shape looking. he was carrying a bag in one hand.

I walked straight to my car and just leaned across from it on some concete edge of a yard. I was just sort of in a daze. sweating and just content to lean, stretch and watch people walk by this busy part of the neighborhood.

i looked to my left and saw the man and little girl coming towards my direction. he picked her up and carried her. as he got closer to me, i said "she didn't wanna walk anymore, huh? "Yeah" he replied. "That's exactly what she said." they passed and kept walking forward. he carried her in his right arm and bag in left arm. i watch them for awhile. she put her hand on his face and was touching, poking him, playfully, it seemed. so sweet. so tender.

i felt. a missing.

sports notes

I've got my CLEVELAND BROWNS cap on right now. I KNOW it's not football season YET ...but its a comin'! I just hope our freakin' new QB, Brady Quinn, actually SIGNS a freaking contract. This could actually be a very interesting season for the Brownies. Mind you, i said "interesting", not good. But, every year, i hope. i hope. i hope.

Now that Michael Vick has utterly embarassed himself, the team, the fans, this city....I will have a very hard time rooting for the Falcons. I know he most likley will not be around, but i just feel so sick of it all. He provided the excitement for this team and it was pretty cool. What a freaking waste.

Baseball season is going strong and even though SF Giants are in the cellar right now, it was pretty sweet to watch them take 2 out of 3 from the LA Dodgers in LA! I hope Bonds crushes some more balls and I hope Giants have a great rest of season. I'm Hoping. I'm Hoping...

Other than the Giants, I really have a hard time truly rooting for another team. i guess when you are a fan, you just ARE A FAN.
But, I feel like once playoffs come, i will have to root for a team. Maybe Arizona. They have a pretty cool, young team. I would also root for Florida, but they are not much better than SF. Oh well, there is always hope.