Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
curious george
a few questions:
1)would you rather plan a vacation for you and lover/partner or have them plan it and you just "show up" (depends. right now, would plan)
2)flowers or chocolate? (EITHER)
3)ever braided friends hair? (no, not sure i even know how! ha)
4)which chore do you dislike the most? (taking out garbage)
5)do you write down a shopping list and take it to the grocery? (not usually, unless it's on the rare occassion i am following a recipe and need ingredients)
6)diet or regular soda (don't normally drink soda, but would be regular, NEVER DIET -ICK)
7)ever taken a tub or shower with loved one? (yes, love it)
8)were you good at hop-scotch, tag & kickball? would you still be today? (YES. YES.YES)
9)can your friends come over unannounced and you be ok with this? (yes)
10) what do you do when you are prepared a meal you hate? (eat slowly & try to swallow & be polite)
1)would you rather plan a vacation for you and lover/partner or have them plan it and you just "show up" (depends. right now, would plan)
2)flowers or chocolate? (EITHER)
3)ever braided friends hair? (no, not sure i even know how! ha)
4)which chore do you dislike the most? (taking out garbage)
5)do you write down a shopping list and take it to the grocery? (not usually, unless it's on the rare occassion i am following a recipe and need ingredients)
6)diet or regular soda (don't normally drink soda, but would be regular, NEVER DIET -ICK)
7)ever taken a tub or shower with loved one? (yes, love it)
8)were you good at hop-scotch, tag & kickball? would you still be today? (YES. YES.YES)
9)can your friends come over unannounced and you be ok with this? (yes)
10) what do you do when you are prepared a meal you hate? (eat slowly & try to swallow & be polite)
Friday, October 20, 2006
Finding Grey..
Recently started following Grey's Anatomy (I Realize I am late to this parade!!)
Here is my new favorite. Ah..what a looker.
Please chime in your thoughts.
Here is my new favorite. Ah..what a looker.
Please chime in your thoughts.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
40 winks
1. Dated outside your race? Not guilty, but feel like i would
2. Singing in the shower? not guilty. don't know why, really...
3. Spit in someone’s drink? Not guilty - but have wanted to
4. Played with Barbies? Not Freakin' Guilty
5. Made someone cry? Guilty, probably
6. Opened your Christmas presents early? Not Guilty, I like it on the day, same as b-day
7. Lied to a friend? Guilty, unfortunately.
8. Watched and cried while watching a soap opera? Guilty
9. Played a computer game for more than 5 hours? Not guilty
10. Ran through the sprinklers naked? Not guilty
11. Ate food that fell on the floor? Guilty- as long as i wipe it off, who cares?
12. Went outside naked? Not Guilty
13. Been on stage? Guilty
14. Been on stage naked or close to it? Not guilty
15. Been in a parade? Guilty, Gay Pride in SF years ago.
16. Been in a school play? Guilty
17. Drank beer? Guilty
18. Gotten detention? Guilty
19. Been on a cruise? Not Guilty
20. Broken into a house? Not guilty (but, guilty to a trailer)
21. Gotten a tattoo? Not Guilty
22. Gotten piercings? Guilty, but only one hole in each ear- that are closed now
23. Gotten into a fist fight? Not guilty
24. Gotten into a shouting match? Guilty
25. Swallowed sea/pool water? Guilty
26. Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose? Guilty
27. aughed so hard it hurt? Guilty
28. Tripped on your own feet? Guilty (too many times, actually)
29. Cried yourself to sleep? Guilty
30. Cried in public? Guilty
31. Thrown up in public? Not Guilty
32. Lied to your parents? Not Guilty
33. Skipped class? Guilty
34. Cried so hard you threw up? Not guilty
35. Had a one night stand? Guilty
36. Left restaurant without paying tab? Not guilty
37. Been Fired from a job? Not Guilty
38. Wanted to make out with your massage therapist, therapist OR hairldresser? Guilty on 2 counts
39. Had a drink "sent" to a stranger at a bar? Guilty
40. Been winked at and loved it? Guilty
Stole this fromLisa
Hope You'll Play!
2. Singing in the shower? not guilty. don't know why, really...
3. Spit in someone’s drink? Not guilty - but have wanted to
4. Played with Barbies? Not Freakin' Guilty
5. Made someone cry? Guilty, probably
6. Opened your Christmas presents early? Not Guilty, I like it on the day, same as b-day
7. Lied to a friend? Guilty, unfortunately.
8. Watched and cried while watching a soap opera? Guilty
9. Played a computer game for more than 5 hours? Not guilty
10. Ran through the sprinklers naked? Not guilty
11. Ate food that fell on the floor? Guilty- as long as i wipe it off, who cares?
12. Went outside naked? Not Guilty
13. Been on stage? Guilty
14. Been on stage naked or close to it? Not guilty
15. Been in a parade? Guilty, Gay Pride in SF years ago.
16. Been in a school play? Guilty
17. Drank beer? Guilty
18. Gotten detention? Guilty
19. Been on a cruise? Not Guilty
20. Broken into a house? Not guilty (but, guilty to a trailer)
21. Gotten a tattoo? Not Guilty
22. Gotten piercings? Guilty, but only one hole in each ear- that are closed now
23. Gotten into a fist fight? Not guilty
24. Gotten into a shouting match? Guilty
25. Swallowed sea/pool water? Guilty
26. Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose? Guilty
27. aughed so hard it hurt? Guilty
28. Tripped on your own feet? Guilty (too many times, actually)
29. Cried yourself to sleep? Guilty
30. Cried in public? Guilty
31. Thrown up in public? Not Guilty
32. Lied to your parents? Not Guilty
33. Skipped class? Guilty
34. Cried so hard you threw up? Not guilty
35. Had a one night stand? Guilty
36. Left restaurant without paying tab? Not guilty
37. Been Fired from a job? Not Guilty
38. Wanted to make out with your massage therapist, therapist OR hairldresser? Guilty on 2 counts
39. Had a drink "sent" to a stranger at a bar? Guilty
40. Been winked at and loved it? Guilty
Stole this from
Hope You'll Play!
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
I've Been Thinking...(oh, no)
And as some may have surmised from previous posts, I am without parents and basically any other family. Obviously, this is a topic of much sadness and many other feelings…but lately, I have been thinking of some of the benefits! Yes, benefits. It's sooooo easy for me to get bogged down with thoughts of the things I am missing, but there are a lot of other things I think I can be thankful for and I wanted to use the space here to jot them down:
1) Never had to "come out" to my family and thus had the benefit of never having my family disown, hate or ignore me. I never had to have that frightening conversation or hear about how I am a sinner, etc…
2) I am free from spending a ton of money on birthdays & holidays as I really only buy things for a few friends and am able to use $ to travel
3) Never have to worry about introducing my potential girlfriend to my parents
4) Never have to go visit when I don't want to or feel obligated to do so
5) Never have to face the possibility that my mother could still be a crazy, depressed alcoholic
6) Never have to worry about my parents aging and how will they be cared for, etc…
7) Never have to worry about my parents thinking I am not what I should have been in life or about any other judgements or opinions they may have about the way I live my life
8) Never have to worry about them commenting on my appearance or choice of jobs
9) Never have to worry about forgetting their anniversary
10) Never have to hear them complain about each other or their bodily ailments
Needless to say, some of the above may have never happened if they were still here….but the point is that I can embrace some of the stuff I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH and be thankful. Grief/Loss have been large chunks of my life and it's actually nice to think about the otherside for a bit.
1) Never had to "come out" to my family and thus had the benefit of never having my family disown, hate or ignore me. I never had to have that frightening conversation or hear about how I am a sinner, etc…
2) I am free from spending a ton of money on birthdays & holidays as I really only buy things for a few friends and am able to use $ to travel
3) Never have to worry about introducing my potential girlfriend to my parents
4) Never have to go visit when I don't want to or feel obligated to do so
5) Never have to face the possibility that my mother could still be a crazy, depressed alcoholic
6) Never have to worry about my parents aging and how will they be cared for, etc…
7) Never have to worry about my parents thinking I am not what I should have been in life or about any other judgements or opinions they may have about the way I live my life
8) Never have to worry about them commenting on my appearance or choice of jobs
9) Never have to worry about forgetting their anniversary
10) Never have to hear them complain about each other or their bodily ailments
Needless to say, some of the above may have never happened if they were still here….but the point is that I can embrace some of the stuff I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH and be thankful. Grief/Loss have been large chunks of my life and it's actually nice to think about the otherside for a bit.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Groceries & Superwoman
Yesterday, I FINALLY went to the market to buy some groceries as all I hadand in my fridge is coffee, 1/2 & 1/2, cheese, butter, salad dressing, and eggs. I’M SERIOUS. So, my extravagant shopping entailed the following purchases: 4 Wallaby yogurts; 3 vanilla, 1 blueberry. This is the best brand of yogurt in my opinion. http://www.wallabyyogurt.com/ broccollini, 1 yellow bell pepper, top round strips for stir fry, 1/2 & 1/2, 3 bananas, Toblerone Chocolate, raw almonds, yellow squash. That's all, folks. That is a typical shopping experience for me. I just CANNOT seem to buy more. I have a mental block.
Anyways, as I was waiting in line at the check out counter, there was a woman a few counters away with a watermelon on the bottom of her cart. She looked around as if she was looking for help to get it onto the price scanner. She asked the big, tall gentleman behind her, but he had a limp arm and could not help. Before she could ask anyone else, I yelled out (much louder than I wanted to) "I GOT IT". I left my line and put the watermelon on the counter for her. She was most appreciative and I, well….I felt like a superhero. Maybe you had to be there to fully understand…but my loud declaration of "I GOT IT" sounded more along the lines of something from a cartoon; "Move over BATMAN & ROBIN, I'll HANDLE IT."
Needless to say, I was happy to lend a helping, spontaneous hand to the woman in the checkout line. Good deed for the day. Have you done your good deed for the day??
Anyways, as I was waiting in line at the check out counter, there was a woman a few counters away with a watermelon on the bottom of her cart. She looked around as if she was looking for help to get it onto the price scanner. She asked the big, tall gentleman behind her, but he had a limp arm and could not help. Before she could ask anyone else, I yelled out (much louder than I wanted to) "I GOT IT". I left my line and put the watermelon on the counter for her. She was most appreciative and I, well….I felt like a superhero. Maybe you had to be there to fully understand…but my loud declaration of "I GOT IT" sounded more along the lines of something from a cartoon; "Move over BATMAN & ROBIN, I'll HANDLE IT."
Needless to say, I was happy to lend a helping, spontaneous hand to the woman in the checkout line. Good deed for the day. Have you done your good deed for the day??
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Not for the Weak at Heart...
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
-James Blunt>"Goodbye My Lover"
This is an amazing song. It is quiet and startling. He sings it in almost a whisper.
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
-James Blunt>"Goodbye My Lover"
This is an amazing song. It is quiet and startling. He sings it in almost a whisper.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Food
Coffee: cream & sugar
Never eaten a Big Mac
Love, Love, Love Guacamole w/ chips but NEVER in my burrito
Love good cheeses and willing to spend the money for them
Don't like mussels, clams; Do like calamari, Sea Bass, Shrimp
Don't like Artichokes
Dark Chocolate
Salami, Swiss on a baguette, plain, is my idea of a perfect sandwich
Hummus w/ Pita for a a snack
Severe weakness: chips! and I frequently give in
Care to share...
Never eaten a Big Mac
Love, Love, Love Guacamole w/ chips but NEVER in my burrito
Love good cheeses and willing to spend the money for them
Don't like mussels, clams; Do like calamari, Sea Bass, Shrimp
Don't like Artichokes
Dark Chocolate
Salami, Swiss on a baguette, plain, is my idea of a perfect sandwich
Hummus w/ Pita for a a snack
Severe weakness: chips! and I frequently give in
Care to share...
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Pour it on...
Got inspired to pitch my thoughts after reading TRACY and wanted to pass along something I read ages ago that I feel was burned into my brain.
One of the strongest things of my personality, is my passion and intensity. Sometimes, it may even be too much for people. But, I will not ever make an apology for wanting the best in myself and others. I will never apologize for demanding the best from the people in my life and myself. I know all too well that life is no brief candle. Having experienced loss at an early age, I am unfortunately/fortunately reminded of life, of death, and of the MOMENT...of the moment that calls me to live in it as much as I can. WHATEVER THAT LOOKS LIKE. If i am crying, then i should cry my eyes out. If I am laughing, then i hope i would laugh until my stomach is aching for me to stop. So often, people are caught off guard by my intensity for life, but it is also what draws them to me. I cannot be silent about knowing that THIS IS IT. THIS MOMENT. THIS IS ALL I HAVE RIGHT NOW. So, when i am with people, i want to know i am really THERE. I seldom want to just chit chat. Everything doesn't need to be heavy or overwhelming; what i mean is that the time should be as authentic as possible. THAT IS THE JUICE. THAT IS MY DRUG. Pour it on.....I DO want to be thoroughly used up when I die. I want to know that there is nothing left in my strong, little body.
This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as I live it is my privilege - my *privilege* to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I love. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me; it is a sort of splendid torch which I've got a hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
One of the strongest things of my personality, is my passion and intensity. Sometimes, it may even be too much for people. But, I will not ever make an apology for wanting the best in myself and others. I will never apologize for demanding the best from the people in my life and myself. I know all too well that life is no brief candle. Having experienced loss at an early age, I am unfortunately/fortunately reminded of life, of death, and of the MOMENT...of the moment that calls me to live in it as much as I can. WHATEVER THAT LOOKS LIKE. If i am crying, then i should cry my eyes out. If I am laughing, then i hope i would laugh until my stomach is aching for me to stop. So often, people are caught off guard by my intensity for life, but it is also what draws them to me. I cannot be silent about knowing that THIS IS IT. THIS MOMENT. THIS IS ALL I HAVE RIGHT NOW. So, when i am with people, i want to know i am really THERE. I seldom want to just chit chat. Everything doesn't need to be heavy or overwhelming; what i mean is that the time should be as authentic as possible. THAT IS THE JUICE. THAT IS MY DRUG. Pour it on.....I DO want to be thoroughly used up when I die. I want to know that there is nothing left in my strong, little body.
Monday, October 02, 2006
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