In just a few days, I will see you both. It’s been a long time. About 7+ years. Too long. I know. It’s not easy to get to where you are from where I am...
I wonder what it’s like for the 2 of you, so close together. Hell, right on top of one another. Did you see it coming? Did you anticipate that it would be the 2 of you that would occupy such a small space? I wonder if it has made your tense, tumultous relationship any better. Even as a small one, I saw the anger and oh, all the resentment and bitterness between the two of you. Of course, I didn’t understand. I still don’t quite FULLY get it, but I gather there must have been a lot of decisions and choices made on both your parts that deeply hurt and disappointed the other. I hope there has been some reconciliation and forgiveness during these 7+ years that ya’ll have now been reunited. And I hope there has been some laughter about some of the good times you shared. No doubt, there have been tears. Healing tears, I hope.
When I used to visit long ago, I had to take a bus, then BART, then another bus just to get to you. Boy, I’m sure glad I don’t have to do that anymore. I will have a vehicle and as I drive close, I will stop across the street at the standard flower shop and pick out some carnations; my staple for these visits. I doubt I have ever brought anything else, have I? I will make the short drive along the windy path that leads to your place. I will walk around a bit before finding the exact spot...all I know is that you are near a lone tree and a water spigot. I will find ya’ll and I will sit. I will be quiet and listen for a bit and then I will share about me and what has been happening in my life. I will share of my accomplishments and my struggles, my dreams & my defeats, my memories of all of us, both good and some not so good. And if not too many people are close by, I will sing. I downloaded some songs off itunes that were some of your favorites. I love to sing them. They make me happy. So, I hope to sing for you, too. And, I’m sure I will cry, so just be ready for it. Put out some tissues, will you?
Before I go, I will lean close and kiss you good-bye and I will hope what I always do: that you are proud of the person I have become.
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6 comments:
I'd drive you and sit in the car if I could afunt (if you wanted the support) Your words sounded warm and gentle- You are a brave soul. Enjoy your trip, I hope you feel their energy... and know they are proud.
thank you for your kind words, r.d.
You're welcome-
D@mn it - that made me cry and I'm at work. Thank Goddess I have an office....
That was beautiful!
How could they not be proud? You're an amazing person.
I do the same thing. Even bring pictures of the kids. No one knows that I do this. Just you.
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