Day 2, Part 3

are you keeping up yet?

So. Yes, I went into church. St Leander's Church. It's where I went many times as a child, sometimes with mom and sometimes, it was just us kids. We went every Sunday for a long time. We would walk about 3/4-1 mile to the place, dressed in Sunday nice clothes. We only wore Sunday BEST on holidays. I really enjoyed attending church; i really liked the 2 pastors who were there for a long time, i loved the music and singing, i loved the rituals and the "togetherness" of it all. I took some things from the sermons and left the rest. The place is a good size and there is a stunning, large crucifix straight ahead as soon as you walk in the doors. It still captivates me til this day. I was a bit surprised to find myself there mid-day last Thursday, but that's where I was. I opened the doors and immediately, the smell came over me. I don't even quite now how to describe it except to say it's the church smell. it is sort of musty. I love the smell..how familiar it is....
I was completely alone for a while. Slowly, I walked to the candle area and found the lone unlit candle. I lit it for mom and grandma, slid a donation into the slot and then sat. I felt so calm, peaceful and right where I needed to be. I've had so many memories in that church...like the images i kept seeing at my old house, i saw images of past days in the church....all of us sitting in the light-wooden pews, me looking around and up at the ceiling and counting the grids up above...seeing a girl from my school get up and do one of the readings and feeling jealous. Why did SHE get to do it. Seeing the long lines for communion and wine.....
I'm so glad I stopped in, said hello and felt welcome.
Next stop was the cemetery where mom and grandma are buried...
As mentioned previously, I stopped at the little flower shop and picked up some carnations. I drove across the street and found the grave without any difficulty. There are 2 flower containers and they were full of gross water and debris which I had to clean out. gosh..that has got to be one of the WORST smells ever!! uugghh!! I cleaned it out and put the pretty & fresh carnations in and then sat on the damp grass. I looked around and it was a gorgeous day! Sun shining, blue skies, temperature probably high 60's. I talked a little bit, but mostly, I just sat and took in the moment. And then, I broke out my iPod and clicked on a "I CAN'T HELP MYSELF", by THE FOUR TOPS. I had one earphone on my ear and the other one very close to the grave. I hit PLAY. I sang, danced and smiled. It was wonderful.