trippedbyit

flames and fire

2010-02-22T19:17:00.000-08:00

"...let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud." Oriah

2010-02-11T13:43:00.000-08:00

sometimes, i think i am visible, and I am not. What am i doing that is not working? That is THE question....

It is frustrating, but also something that, if corrected, I know can lead to good, great, things for me.

Must focus on THAT and not the frustration.

oh yeah

2010-02-04T17:43:00.001-08:00

"the world is round and a messy mortal is my friend. come walk with me in the mud."

oh yeah

2010-01-21T17:44:00.000-08:00

"your heart's on the loose
you roll them 7's with nothing to lose..."

-The Weary Kind (theme from Crazy Heart"

crazy heart

2010-01-16T08:00:00.000-08:00

She said, "so, what do you wanna talk about?"
He said, "about how bad you make this room look.."

-from the movie, Crazy Heart. a must see

new year

2009-12-30T19:34:00.000-08:00

So incredibly grateful for brighter days! Actually 2009 was a fantastic year for me...but i sure did get the blues over the Holidays. Looking forward to another awesome year. 2010....let the party be started!

2009-12-24T17:11:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, the day is dark. Sometimes, I am dark.
It sucks. It's never easy. It typically feels like it will last forever, but i know that's not true.
Today has been one of those days.
Hope it doesn't last too long.

2009-12-03T20:03:00.001-08:00

How long will I go?

More Pics from upcoming VenicetheSeries

2009-11-22T17:16:00.000-08:00

Pics from the upcoming VenicetheSeries

2009-10-30T14:38:00.000-07:00

2009-10-21T14:40:00.001-07:00

Where your pleasure is, there is your treasure where your treasure, there your heart where your heart, there your happiness.
-Saint Augustine

2009-10-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

Life is my lover.

2009-10-04T18:31:00.001-07:00

because of your love
i have lost my sobriety.
i am intoxicated
by the madness of love

-Rumi

double e

2009-09-10T17:50:00.000-07:00

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

e.e cummings

2009-09-08T16:01:00.001-07:00

been feeling very open-hearted

but now, also very vulnerable

can one exist without the other?

2009-09-06T18:37:00.000-07:00

he said: you look at me in a way I haven't quite earned

she said: well, earn it

2009-09-01T16:09:00.000-07:00

What did I possibly expect?

I hate when i get tripped up by my own expectations.

Damnit

get here

2009-08-26T17:46:00.000-07:00

Come over, Come in and Don't say a word.

2009-08-23T14:40:00.000-07:00

Last night I saw you in the gathering, but could not take you openly in my arms, so I put my lips next to your cheek, pretending to talk privately

- Rumi, The Music

well....

2009-08-02T18:20:00.001-07:00

well....

2009-07-31T19:15:00.001-07:00

2009-07-28T04:46:00.000-07:00

you are making your journey to secure yourself. i am already tethered to your side.
bring yourself home to me and i will immerse you in every once of tenderness i possess.

-Nick Bantock

2009-07-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

Wondering if it was you who came on to me or me who came onto you.

I don't think we'll ever get that settled.

And, frankly, I don't give a damn.

well....

2009-07-22T16:00:00.001-07:00

2008-05-18T10:18:00.000-07:00

I'd meet you in the jazz room. the one where the lights turn blue after 10. the one where they serve a chipped ice pinkish cosmo. the one where the sax man plays til his lungs burn and the tall, thin, lady in black makes me heart sink. i'd meet you there.

Hike-Inn

2008-05-11T18:33:00.000-07:00

Friday, I took the day off from work and went to the HIKE-INN with 2 friends. If you check out the website, you will see that in order to get to the INN, you have to hike 5 miles. I was really looking forward to the whole thing....something totally new & different. And, i was REALLY looking forward to getting out of the city!!!! The trees were getting pretty full and there was just GREEN everywhere. Awesome. The hike was moderate and very calming and peaceful. At the Inn, they prepare dinner and breakfast for you which was delicious. It was great to get some well-balanced meals!! I think the elevation was only about 3000-4000 ft, but the view was still phenomenal. I definitely could have stayed another day/night, but we only had 1 night reservation and the place was booked!

One the way back Saturday morning, I had to get a run in, so I decided to run with my backpack ( which was at least 5 lbs.) back to the trailhead and my car. It was challenging, but fun!

let me put on a couple of 45s for ya

2008-05-09T05:58:00.000-07:00

CECILIA - Simon & Garfunkle

making love in the afternoon with cecilia
up in my bedroom
i got up to wash my face
when i come back to bed
someone's takin my place
cecilia, you're breakin' my heart
your shakin' my confidence, baby

MY GUY - Mary Wells

Nothin you could do
to make me untrue to my guy
Nothin you could buy
could make me turn awry from my guy
i gave my guy my word of honor
to be faithful and i'm gonna be
you best be believin' i can't be torn apart from my guy

a blessing and a curse

2008-05-07T02:38:00.000-07:00

i think we all might have something that is both a blessing and a curse. for me, it's my WANTING, my HUNGER. it's flared up again and made itself know and it feel like it is ROARING. it's not a wanting of someone or something but of something entirely different that i cannot even name. but, if you GET this..you know what i am talking about.
i am not a complacent one. i am not a contented one. and i couldn't be happier about this. i want challenge. i want to dig in and figure it out. i want to work and lose myself in the effort of the experience. i want to run 50 miles. i want to run all over the damn country and beyond. i want to be puzzled by that which is TRYING. and to me, these are blessings.
the flip side of this can be such a curse though...because it leads to much frustration and irritation at the rate at which these things happen...frustration & irritation from sometimes having to depend on someone else in order for me to move forward. and simple frustration because i get stuck and can't figure out WHY i am stuck.
i am not talking about happiness. to me, happiness is a fleeing kind of emotion. and when it comes, it's great.

i'm talking about something entirely different....entirely!

half n half

2008-05-05T17:33:00.000-07:00

I specifically went to the store tonight to buy half n half for my morning coffee. while i was in the store, I picked up a NY Times and an ice cream.

I forgot the Half n Half.

DAMN. I hate when that happens!

the way i am

2008-05-01T17:29:00.000-07:00

this is a snippet of dialogue from AJ & I @ work today. i went near her desk and was filling out a fedex form/envelope: a little background: I took TRINITY to the airport this morning and then went to work.

Me: I am a GOOD friend. I am a GOOOD friend.
AJ: looks at me sorta blankly

AJ: I would just say get on MARTA...at THIS time of morning?! I mean, I can understand if she was sad or depressed or something and it was on the way home, but going there in the morning..No, I would have said, "TAKE MARTA."

Me: And that is why I don't ask you. I don't even think she asked. I just offered.

I like taking people to the airport and picking them up. it's just one of my things. i hit a lot of traffic coming back to work in morning rush hour, but it didn't even faze me. AND it's Trinity! C'mon. She's my bud!

I SENT FLOWERS

2008-04-29T09:04:00.000-07:00

#4 is the correct answer, folks! (I know R.D. must be most shocked)
And Trin had an unfair advantage...i forgot i told her the story long ago...

But, YES, I actually took flowers to her..

How well do you think you know me? Part of a series..

2008-04-25T15:56:00.000-07:00

About 5 years ago, I was living in SF. One day, I went across the bay to Marin County for a mountain bike ride. First time in a long time. Hooked up with a couple of guys I had meet off Craigslist. The trail we went on was pretty ambitious for a novice like myself, but I had not known the itinerary beforehand.
So, we go up and up on a narrow trail. I stop at one point to get my barrings. I lost my footing and my left kneecap fell right into the pointy area of a rock, causing a deep hole, blood, and pain. My 2 fellow compadres helped me down the trail and to my car, where one of them played medic with my handy first aid kit!!
They encouraged me to go to the ER because I would need stitches.
So, I drove mysef back into SF and into the ER at USF.
Soon enough I was seen by a petite woman physician's assistant who very quickly caught my attention. She had somewhat of a husky voice and mixed in humor with compassion as she stitched me up. We exchanged some conversation and I really enjoyed it....and wanted more. She was attractive and most likely a lesbian!! When she saw my name on the chart, she exclaimed, WOW, what a great name!"
So, what do you think my next action was??

Did I
1) Leave her my phone number
2) Ask for her number
3) Send her a note
4) Send her flowers
5) Nothing?

2008-04-22T17:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I am such a f*%@ing IDIOT:
(as defined by dictionary.com)

–noun

1. AN UTTERLY FOOLISH OR SENSELESS PERSON.

#3 it is..

2008-04-13T04:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's # 3...the place I lived while growing up. More specifically, it is a basic little 2 bedroom duplex right on the edge of the San Leandro/Oakland border in California. I "visited" it this past January on my "pilgrimage". The only difference between what it looks like now versus 25 years ago (WOW) is that there are now black "safety" bars on the windows. Remember, I DID say it is located at the OAKLAND border...murder capital central! I don't recall worrying so much about murder back then....

I was a little shocked to see the place nearly exactly the same. In some ways, it was comforting. Part of the reason I stopped by was because I wanted to be where MOM had been. And she had been there...LIVED in that place with me. She parked our Red Volkswagon hatchback in THAT carport. She had a little party for me when I was about 8, RIGHT THERE in that parking area. It was warm and I wore an orange/white swimming top & shorts.
One Sunday, I wrote a letter to her thanking her for everything and telling her how much i loved her and that when i grew up i was gonna get married and have a big house and she was gonna live there too. I put the letter, written on orange paper, in an envelope and stuck it in the mailbox. Later on, I went outside and got it and said, "oh, mom..you have mail." (IT WAS SUNDAY)
She opened it, read it and cried and I knew that I had touched her heart.

I shared a room with her and my sister. They slept together in her big bed and I slept on a single flat cot. The 2 boys slept in the other room. When she died, us kids moved next door to the adjacent duplex where my grandma lived. Thinking about it now, I'm a little surprised they lived so close to each other cause they fought a lot...i guess it was one of those mother-daughter love-hate relationships.

I didn't exactly "move out" of the place. My stuff, our stuff, was moved for me. I was in the hospital all broken up after the accident. When I was released from Children's Hospital, I had a hospital bed at grandma's and another family was living in the place that used to be ours. THAT was weird...coming "home" and not having one. I kept thinking, "where is ALL our stuff? where is ALL my stuff." Til this day, i still don't know what happened to a majority of our things. I feel sad about this because they are things that meant something to me. There is no one around to ask what the heck happened.

At the time of mom's death, my brother Greg had already been in trouble with the law and had been "incarcerated" at that time. The authorities released him to attend the funeral. Months later he was released and we were at grandma's. He was upset and wanted to go inside our old house. We went outside and looked at the place and he began crying and yelling: "I want to go inside my house...that's my house..." I'll never forget that moment. We were all stripped of all that we knew and it was so quietly confusing and devastating.

One time, I actually went inside the old place. It was months after the accident and I had been able to walk again. The people who had moved in became neighbor/friends and one day I asked if i could come in. I walked in and put my feet on the cold brown tile. I just stopped. My legs were shaky. I turned around and walked out.

Like I said earlier, going and looking at the place was somewhat comforting to me. The memories I have of my childhood revolve mostly around that dwelling and what took place there...some good memories and some horrible ones. It was something I needed to do, especially since I have absolutely nothing that was mine from that time and place.

For as much building and tear downs and re-building I have seen all over, it's neat to see the old place still standing.

what do you think this is a picture of...

2008-04-07T17:27:00.000-07:00

1) my current dwelling
2) place where i lived when i was born
3) place I lived most of my youth
4) my dream house
5) my out house

#3 is correct answer

2008-04-06T05:41:00.001-07:00

Ya'll are good! Next time, it will be a little tougher. :)

how well do you think you know me?

2008-04-03T17:52:00.000-07:00

this is hopefully fun for you! this is true and i just want to see what your answer will be:

In my apartment building there is a laundry room that requires a key. When the door shuts, it automatically locks. I recently misplaced my key and I had laundry stuck in the room for a few days. it was laundry that i kinda needed...socks, underwear, etc... But, i couldn't get back in cause I couldn't find my key. This went on for about 3-4 days.

My question to you is what do you think I did?

1) call my lease manager and ask for a new key?
2) ask my neighbors to borrow their key
3) wait until i see the door open/unlocked to get my stuff?

the gangs all here

2008-03-25T17:20:00.000-07:00

I thought i would share a couple of photos from january this year when i was in San Francisco:

I love these pictures: me and my SF pals after a yummy breakfast near the mission district in SF. A couple of us from the photo will be meeting up next in Austin, Texas during memorial day weekend. YIPPEE

OH -- THE MADNESS!

2008-03-24T17:43:00.001-07:00

OK - here is where I stand after the first 2 rounds of the mens NCAA Tournament: as we head into the SWEET 16, 9 of my 16 picks are in. But, here's the deal: I have been so entertained watching some of these games that I have been thrilled to see an upset, even if I lose the team from my picks. For example, watching DUKE lose to West Virginia was spectacular! Watching little known DAVIDSON come from way behind to beat GEORGETOWN was just SWEET. What has been so great about these games is THE HUSTLE of these guys. THEY SCRAMBLE, THROW THEIR BODIES into every play it seems. AWESOME. GUTTY Performances. Even if you don't watch sports or know anything about these teams, you still gotta be impressed.

Can't wait til Thursday and the next round of games!! Yippee

2nd day - Bracket-Ball

2008-03-22T07:29:00.000-07:00

16 more NCAA Mens teams played yesterday and there were a few major upsets: UCONN, CLEMSON, DRAKE & VANDERBILT

The good news: out of 16 games, I had 13 correct winners including W. Kentucky who upset Drake
The bad news: I lost on UCONN, Clemson & Vandy.
The other good news: I don't have the aforementioned 3 above going past next round. AND I also won a few side bets yesterday!! YEAH!!

After shooting for a 10 miler today and cleaning car, house, etc..I plan to go over a friends house, cook-out and watch tonights game on a BIG TV. Yippee.

Have a great weekend all!

BRACKET-BALL!

2008-03-21T07:00:00.000-07:00

March Madness -- Oh Yeah!

NCAA MENS basketball is up and runnin'. I'm in a pool at work and determined to do better this year than the previous two. Of course, I'm also do some additional side bets. :)
The good news so far: 16 teams played yesterday, Thursday. I had 15 out of 16 correct.
The bad news: USC lost yesterday in an upset. I had them in the FINAL FOUR. OUCH!
But, still....a good start and looking for more today!! Who have I picked to win it all????

STAY TUNED! :)

POP QUIZ

2008-03-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

-did you know atlanta got hit with a Tornado last night? (not til i saw a text in the AM)

-POP TARTS, POPCORN, or POPSICLES? (popcorn)

-what brand of running/walking shoes do you have? (um..ASICS, ADIDAS, SALOMON, NIKE..)

-what did you eat last? (bowl of KASHI cereal..at nightime!)

-ever been on a night hike to stargaze? (yes)

-what are you reading? (Lake of Dead Languages)

-TOP 2 TV Shows? (Grey's & The Closer)

-Last person you hugged? (A.S.)

-Have you ever slapped anyone? (i don't think so)

-Have you ever thrown food or drink at anyone in anger or disgust? (NO)

-Do you sleep with socks on? (almost always except summer)

-Do you brush your teeth in the shower? (no..kinda creeps me out actually)

-Are you fast at typing? (NO)

-What do you wish for in this moment? (for a massage)

-Dream house? (i have one in mind...)

-Are you friendly with your neighbors? (a tiny bit)

ok...that's enough for now...i hope you will enjoy and respond....

Nicholson for Clinton!

2008-03-02T07:43:00.001-08:00

Thought this was very clever, funny, and just GOOD!

Crime on the rise?

2008-02-27T17:22:00.000-08:00

This morning, my co-worker told me that last night his truck was broken into with a slim jim. A bag was stolen that contained his checkbook, ipod and some other things. The perpetrator could have thought the bag had a laptop inside. No damage was done to the truck. The bag was recovered, but the IPOD was gone.

I came home tonight and there was a note in my door. it was from the property manager of the building. The note said that a tenant was robbed at 12:30 am last night by 2 men at gunpoint. They took his wallet.
A pretty unnerving note to get after getting home after a good, long day at the office. Especially because I think i live in a safe neighborhood.

I mention these things as just something to say to all of us to be aware. Try to be aware of your surrounding...

Just as a side note: economically, things are tough for a lot of people and both these crimes were about money or a way to get money.

Be careful out there

latest book

2008-02-25T17:19:00.000-08:00

As I lay in bed last night and was reading my latest book, I thought, "why am i reading this??"
here is what it's about: based on a true story of a black guy who was lynched in 1981. a friend of the guy was the person who found him and the novel is about how he and his brother/father deal with it. the brother and father own/work at the mortuary that are responsible for handling the body. it's incredible difficult because they knew him and were friends.

again...why am i reading this? i think i will stop. for now, at least. anyone got any LIGHT ideas??

curious...

2008-02-22T03:43:00.001-08:00

Success: what is it to you? Are you successful? Do you care about success?

Failure: how do you define it?

Tasting the Good Life

2008-02-17T13:20:00.000-08:00

Be happy for this moment, this moment is your life.
-Omar Khayyam

This definitely feels like the good life. I take one of the only empty
seats at THIS crowded, popular place in SOHO. Gracing my bar area is a
beautiful bouqet of white tulips, pink roses, snap dragons and a mix of other pretty flowers I unfortunately do not know the name of. I order coffee that comes in a delicate white cup and saucer and glance around the place. It is abuzz... lots of people leaning forward at their tables to talk together, other folks entering throught the front doors, all dressed in dark winter garments. A rich sophistication fills the air. Not stuffy, but comfortable and FULL (as in FULL of LIFE)
Eating at about noon, I'm delighted to order the Sour Cream Hazelnut Waffle with a side of warm blueberries, strawberries, & raspberries. Ahh...brunch and dessert all in one.

January: the Good, the Bad, & the really questionable(SPORTS)

2008-02-02T09:47:00.000-08:00

The Good
-Maria Sharapova won the women's Australian Open
- Cleveland Browns head coach, Romeo Crennell, received a well-deserved 2-year contract extension.
-3 Browns players were selected to the NFL PRO BOWL
-Atlanta Falcons FINALLY got a new coach
-Atlanta Thrashers represented and played well hosting the NHL All Stars
-New Orleans Hornets who have sucked for years are a top of their division in NBA after a 10 game winning streak
-THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS ENDED that winning streak by beating Hornets on their home turf!!

The Bad
-the media coverage about the Super Bowl is complete overkill. how many times can you examine the 2 teams?
-Roger Federer lost at the Australian Open
-I did a small amount of running and overall exercising during the month
-Former talented & respectable Marion Jones was sentenced to 6 months in prison for lying about using performance enhancing drugs.

The Really Questionable
-The SF Giants made no significant roster changes...the season already looks ugly....
-Golden State Warriors brought back former #1 pick, Chris Webber. The same guy who pouted, demanded a trade and caused great coach, DON NELSON, havoc in the rookie's only season with the Warriors. Fans don't forget all that childishness, but if the coach and his teammates welcome him, hopefully the fans will too, eventually.
-On-going debate on whether Clemens used steriods

i am not perfect

2008-01-29T15:05:00.001-08:00

it's not easy to see things about myself I don't like. especially when it has an affect on another. sometimes, it's excruciating. but, in some ways, it feels kinda good to see the "darkness".
Silently, I thought to myself today...
"yeah, I guess I can be an asshole too."

The In-Between

2008-01-25T14:59:00.000-08:00

I know my recent posts have been more on the heavier side, so I wanted to also share about the other parts of my trip to the BAY AREA.
On day two, I saw an old, wonderful friend and took a new friend to lunch. KELLY and I went to PALIO d'ASTI for a wonderful lunch. We gabbed and ate. The first good food I had eaten in a few days.

Later on Day 2, again, I met up with that old friend I had seen earlier. I met her at her house, visited with her and her husband and had a wonderful time. She put out crackers, bread, cheeses, and fine wine and we easily talked like we had seen each other last week instead of many, many years ago. Those kind of connections are PRICELESS. I had my own room to sleep in and slept soundly in this bed that was more like a cocoon. What a pleasure. After morning coffee, she and I went out for breakfast and then into an awesome grocery store...I swear, it seems like CALIFORNIA is the only place that has AWESOME grocery stores. I miss that...We went into a PEETS and I got a coffee for my long drive ahead to central california.

After the visit with my bro on day 4, I drove back to San Francisco and checked in at the WESTIN @ Market St.
It was my 1 night treat...damn if I don't love a good hotel!!

I had some free time to myself before meeting up with some old friends for dinner. I needed it so I could sorta settle down from the big visit. I decided I would go visit a coffeehouse i used to frequent years ago. FARLEY'S is a cafe in the POTRERO HILL neighborhood of SF. A quaint area with just a few businesses and incredible views of the surrounding city. I went back there because long ago they had these old community journals you could write in. The journals were always kept at the cafe. I wrote in many of them and at one point, i had written about someone I had once loved intimately and out loud. I found those old pages and was comforted by their remaining existence. Some things are just nice to find.....

After my jaunt to Farley's, I walked down the block to one of my favorite restaurants, APERTO where I met 4 good pals and enjoyed cocktails, wine, dinner, laughter and goodness. Afterwards, I went back to my hotel and looked out my grand window and out into the city where I was born. My wide window gave clear views of all the blinking and stimulating lights below...gave me that same sort of AWE feeling I had days earlier as I walked along the Embarcadero. A thought and song came to me that was one of my mother's favorite...."i left my heart in San Francisco...."
Sing it, Tony!!!

Travel Days 3 & 4

2008-01-24T09:34:00.000-08:00

Day 3: had me traveling from the bay area to central california to see
my brother who I had not seen in about 19 years.

Day 4: I left my hotel and the small little community. The weather was
completely fogged in and I could barely see. It was a tough challenge
to find the place as I did not have correct directions and I couldn't
see any street signs. I was very anxious as my appointment time was
nearing and I did not want to be late and screw it up. Luckily, I found the
place and after going through their rules and screens, made my way
through a couple of gates and followed the yellow lines to the building
where I would see my brother. As I walked up to the guards desk, I saw
the window/seat area of where I might be sitting. I glanced over that
direction and saw my brother for the first time since January 1989. He
was on the other side of a small window, sitting in a chair, waiting for
me. When we both made eye contact, we simultaneously gasped in suprise
and then smiled. I think I stopped dead in my tracks for a few seconds
and just watched him, looked at him. He brought both hands to his
cheeks and held his face in his hands while he watched me check in with the
guard and then go sit down across from him on the other side of the
window. We were smiling, with tears in our eyes. Then, we picked up the phones and began
talking.

It broke my heart to see how he has aged, how much older and worn he
looks. I had to fight from crying and crying. He made it easier when he
smiled and I could see his young, goofy, and silly smile. He made it
easier when he spoke of his day and what it comprises and how he has his
own "projects" he works on. I heard his mental strength! I didn't see a
fighter necessarily, but someone who has accepted his fate and
responsibility, accepted the consequences and conditions and makes the best of
each day until he will walk free in the world again. He smiled and
looked at me with pride, love and appreciation. I brought the 10 photos I
was allowed to bring and intermittenly showed them to him; ones of he
and our brother when they were under 5 years of age, one of he and I when
I was maybe 1 and he 6; a couple of his father and myself...shining
bright with the blue lake of tahoe in the background; and one of the
family of 5 that used to be; the one and only photo I have of all of us
together.
He said, "this is like a milestone...you coming out here and going
through all the hassel to get here". He spoke of when he would be free
again and the things he would want to do.
This IS a milestone; a milestone of being more in relationship with one
who shares my blood. For a long time, I turned my back on him and
forgot about him. For years, I did not write. For a while, he did not know
where to find me. Its through our intermitten correspondence over the
last 4 years or so that we have come to a place where I felt like I
wanted to visit; to a place in my heart where I did not feel angry or
ashamed about him, but more compassionate, understanding, and merciful. He
said to me, through tears, "we are lucky. We still get to be breathing".
And he is right. He is so right.

Day 2, Part 3

2008-01-22T17:37:00.001-08:00

are you keeping up yet?

So. Yes, I went into church. St Leander's Church. It's where I went many times as a child, sometimes with mom and sometimes, it was just us kids. We went every Sunday for a long time. We would walk about 3/4-1 mile to the place, dressed in Sunday nice clothes. We only wore Sunday BEST on holidays. I really enjoyed attending church; i really liked the 2 pastors who were there for a long time, i loved the music and singing, i loved the rituals and the "togetherness" of it all. I took some things from the sermons and left the rest. The place is a good size and there is a stunning, large crucifix straight ahead as soon as you walk in the doors. It still captivates me til this day. I was a bit surprised to find myself there mid-day last Thursday, but that's where I was. I opened the doors and immediately, the smell came over me. I don't even quite now how to describe it except to say it's the church smell. it is sort of musty. I love the smell..how familiar it is....
I was completely alone for a while. Slowly, I walked to the candle area and found the lone unlit candle. I lit it for mom and grandma, slid a donation into the slot and then sat. I felt so calm, peaceful and right where I needed to be. I've had so many memories in that church...like the images i kept seeing at my old house, i saw images of past days in the church....all of us sitting in the light-wooden pews, me looking around and up at the ceiling and counting the grids up above...seeing a girl from my school get up and do one of the readings and feeling jealous. Why did SHE get to do it. Seeing the long lines for communion and wine.....
I'm so glad I stopped in, said hello and felt welcome.
Next stop was the cemetery where mom and grandma are buried...
As mentioned previously, I stopped at the little flower shop and picked up some carnations. I drove across the street and found the grave without any difficulty. There are 2 flower containers and they were full of gross water and debris which I had to clean out. gosh..that has got to be one of the WORST smells ever!! uugghh!! I cleaned it out and put the pretty & fresh carnations in and then sat on the damp grass. I looked around and it was a gorgeous day! Sun shining, blue skies, temperature probably high 60's. I talked a little bit, but mostly, I just sat and took in the moment. And then, I broke out my iPod and clicked on a "I CAN'T HELP MYSELF", by THE FOUR TOPS. I had one earphone on my ear and the other one very close to the grave. I hit PLAY. I sang, danced and smiled. It was wonderful.

Day 2 Travels, Parts 1 & 2

2008-01-20T21:08:00.003-08:00

Part 1: Woke up to a glorious day in San Francisco. WOW. I got in my rental car and headed into downtown to meet up with a couple of friends. As I pulled out of the hotel parking lot and onto HWY 101, all I could do was smile. It was probably 60 degrees and sunny and bright. Not a cloud in the sky. AAAAHHHH. As I was driving, the San Francisco Bay was to my right and I was just awed at the incredible weather...I could see clear across the water and over to the hills in the EAST BAY. These are the days, I thought. These are the days why people pay to live here....WOW.
I parked my car along the EMBARCADERO and walked over to the wonderful Ferry Building
If you have never been to SF, please make sure when you go that you make this spot a MUST-SEE.
An amazing, delightful, and intoxicating display of artisan cheeses, flowers, wines, fresh organic produce, mouth-watering deli display cases, and of course, PEETS. If you are at Peets, you can sit and look outside to the Bay or get up and walk outside to the pier. And of course, on a day like today, quite intoxicating and breath-taking. As I walked along the Embarcadero and Ferry Building, I felt injected with all the romance that has been absent from my soul. This place can certainly do it for you!
I went into PEETS and got my standard small coffee. AHHH...the wait has been worth it. Of course, I do order Peets online to drink at home, but there isn't anything quite like a cup of Peets AT Peets!! With cup in hand, I slowly made my way outside and through some downtown streets to meet up with an old friend.

Part 2: By late afternoon, I left the city and drove across the Bay Bridge towards the city I spent most of my younger years in: SAN LEANDRO Just the driving alone started to bring back so many memories. Even though I continue to visit the bay area, it's been many years since i drove on the highways that would lead to my early home. I drove past exits I had forgot the names of, drove passed the exit to my high school and then the exit that would lead me into San Leandro. This small city was never anything to brag or write home about..it was dull, basic, and not very attractive. Trees are almost non-existent and a very hum-drum sort of energy always seemed to permeate the place. I had NEVER liked telling people i lived there...it was like saying you lived no-where. There was nothing that stood out about the place and even if you live in the bay area, you would often not know about the city.
BUT...somehow during this trip...this sort of "pilgrimage", my thoughts changed. almost drastically so. I drove along the streets very slowly...with delicate and sacred intention as if i was paying my deepest respects. I was! I went into the 7-Eleven I frequented as I would walk to my elementary school. I bought a disposable camera and went on towards my little house, the duplex we had lived in. Driving towards it, I passed so many houses I remembered from long ago...homes I had on my paper routes! They looked so much bigger back in 1980!! I made the block and saw the carport of where we used to park our car: a maroon VW SQUAREBACK
It looked almost exactly the same. Old, dumpy, and worn. The entire duplex looked the same with the exception of some bars across the windows (this location is just on the border of OAKLAND/SAN LEANDRO. enough said)
I got out of the car and took a couple of photos and thought to myself; "shit, i hope i don't get shot!"
Amazingly enough, across the street this one building was still standing although it did look like the biz was not operating. The places' sign was still displayed: TROY's TIRE SERVICE. A black man and his son operated that business and were our friends. They frequently patched our car or bicycle tires and let us just hang around. I wonder what happened to 'ole Troy and his son....I stood and looked at our old place for a while. I thought I would be sad, but I really wasn't. I just sort of reminisced and flashed back to when we had parties in the car port and when my sister and I would hose ourselves in the summer and then lay on the sloped cement driveway and dry ourselves...our cheeks then getting indentations from the surface as our hair dried and we lay there peacefully. I saw images of playing touch football in the street with my 2 brothers and uncle...us all pretending to be the NFL players of the time; Brian Sipe, Walter Payton, Terry Bradshaw. Soon....I came out of my reminiscing and returned to my vehicle and towards my next stop: church.

Day 1 of Travels

2008-01-18T08:51:00.000-08:00

Delta flight 69 was all set to leave atlanta at 5:10 pm bound for SF0.
Just prior to getting on the plane, I could see the 39 degree temps
outside had started to produce the slightest of snow flurries! Yep! Not
too common in atlanta. No biggee, I thought. We board the plane and
settle in and its about 5:20 pm. Captain comes across the intercom: "good
evening, folks. It looks like we are gonna need to de-ice the plane
before take-off. We are in line to get to the de-icing pad. It will be a
little bit of a process, but we don't expect too long of a delay. We will
keep you updated."
Next time I look at the time it is now 6pm. I call KELLY kelly to let her
know I may not be making it to her house to see her and her mom when after
I land, as we had planned. I am disappointed and getting ancy sitting
for all this time already! To TRINTY'S delight, there are 2 kids
nearby who are playing cards with their father and yelling and screaming in
a language I don't understand. Oh fun!! The crew then puts the
in-flight movie on to entertain us, which thankfully, it did. It is now 8pm. 3
hours past our scheduled take off time. Captain comes on again and says
we will have about another HOUR before take off. Moans, groans, and
looks of disbelief all around. I guess the airport people operate the
same as atlanta drivers when weather conditions are less than perfect:
they freak out and don't know what the hell to do. We finally get the hell
off the ground at 9:30pm. 4 hours and 20 minutes later of just sitting
on the freaking plane!! UUGGHH. Another 4 1/2 hours to go and I would
arrive at my destination. Sitting down for this period of time was
excruciating for me!!!
Next stop: baggage claim. So, its like 11:20 west coast time when we
land and I go to get my bag. The plane had been big and lots of people we
waiting. We were the only folks at baggage claim. The carousel is
already moving and soon some bags come out. And then the thing stops. Then
it starts and spits out a few more bags. Then it stops again. Uugghh!
What the hell?
Finally, it gets on a roll. Bags and bags come out, but not mine. More
and more people leave and soon there is just few of us waiting. Then,
the carousel/belt stops. We wait and wait and it FINALLY gets going
after. And then, FINALLY I see my bag and head off to the airtrain rail to
go over to the car rental area. By this time it is after midnight and
I'm thinking no one will be in line for a car and I will just breeze on
through and get to my hotel. WRONG!!!!!
There were 2 sets of people in the Hertz line when I arrived. Dad and
daughter at the counter. They looked like they were going on a
serious/camping excursion. The lone Hertz agent seemed to be asking them a lot
of questions. They did not have a reservation and so it was taking
longer to get them situated. Ok, finally they are done and now father and
son duo are at the counter. They don't have a reservation either!
Father to agent (in some sort of accent): "you have ford explorer?"
Agent: "let me check. No, no Ford explorer. You want Higlander? Its
bigger than explorer."
F: "no, I want explorer"
Ok. After a bit, he accepted the fact they did not have any explorers.
She proceeds to ask him if he wants all these other cars. She gives
them the model names and he wants to know who makes them. She doesn't know
and has to call somewhere to ask someone else. He also wants to see
pictures. She tries to explain to him there are no pictures of the cars
being discussed because they are new. This whole process goes on and on
and on. Back and forth. On and on. I look to my left and see no other
people in any other car rental lines. I look to my right and its the
same scene: empty. We are the only ones around.
Finally, he settles on a car and gets the hell on his way.
Finally, I get my car and get the hell on my way which is about 5
minutes away to the hotel where I am staying. Why did I get a car since the
hotel was so close??? Well, remember that I was suppossed to arrive at
7:30pm and I had plans to see clients at their house and then go to my
hotel!!
I checked in without any fanfare and promptly took a shower and got in
bed. I looked at the digital clock: 1:30am PST, 4:30 EST.
What a day!
Thankfully, Day 2 was much, much better. Stay tuned!

My Upcoming Visit

2008-01-13T13:42:00.001-08:00

In just a few days, I will see you both. It’s been a long time. About 7+ years. Too long. I know. It’s not easy to get to where you are from where I am...
I wonder what it’s like for the 2 of you, so close together. Hell, right on top of one another. Did you see it coming? Did you anticipate that it would be the 2 of you that would occupy such a small space? I wonder if it has made your tense, tumultous relationship any better. Even as a small one, I saw the anger and oh, all the resentment and bitterness between the two of you. Of course, I didn’t understand. I still don’t quite FULLY get it, but I gather there must have been a lot of decisions and choices made on both your parts that deeply hurt and disappointed the other. I hope there has been some reconciliation and forgiveness during these 7+ years that ya’ll have now been reunited. And I hope there has been some laughter about some of the good times you shared. No doubt, there have been tears. Healing tears, I hope.
When I used to visit long ago, I had to take a bus, then BART, then another bus just to get to you. Boy, I’m sure glad I don’t have to do that anymore. I will have a vehicle and as I drive close, I will stop across the street at the standard flower shop and pick out some carnations; my staple for these visits. I doubt I have ever brought anything else, have I? I will make the short drive along the windy path that leads to your place. I will walk around a bit before finding the exact spot...all I know is that you are near a lone tree and a water spigot. I will find ya’ll and I will sit. I will be quiet and listen for a bit and then I will share about me and what has been happening in my life. I will share of my accomplishments and my struggles, my dreams & my defeats, my memories of all of us, both good and some not so good. And if not too many people are close by, I will sing. I downloaded some songs off itunes that were some of your favorites. I love to sing them. They make me happy. So, I hope to sing for you, too. And, I’m sure I will cry, so just be ready for it. Put out some tissues, will you?
Before I go, I will lean close and kiss you good-bye and I will hope what I always do: that you are proud of the person I have become.

a couple of things

2008-01-12T15:31:00.000-08:00

that bug me or i just plain don't get:

1) when people say, "GET OVER IT"
2) when people say, "LIGHTEN UP"
3) when I go to a coffeehouse and walk up to the counter and the person waiting on me JUST LOOKS AT ME...doesn't smile, doesn't ask, "can i help you" or "what would you like." JUST STARES AT ME....UM HELLO...I am YOUR customer, coming into YOUR establishment
4) when people constantly gossip about others
5) when people talk on and on about themselves, especially in groups
6) when people talk on the cell phone and TRY TO ORDER COFFEE at the SAME TIME (THEN, in THIS case, the barista can be rude)
7) when i continue to wear socks with holes in them (AND I HAVE NEW ONES I HAVE NOT PUT ON YET)

dining out

2008-01-11T03:29:00.000-08:00

How disappointing last nights dining out excursion turned out to be. When
I left my office at about 6:30, I was undecided where or what to eat. I
started driving and remembered that I have been hankering for a baked
potato..and so I decided to go to OUTBACK! I rarely go but when I do, I
love it because I love baked potatoes and I loved their chopped salad
with blue chz and steak. I got seated immediately and ordered these
items mentioned above, along with a magarita on the rocks with salt.
I also ordered the potato with cheese and butter.
So. I was going over some work paperwork and the food was delivered. I
didn't even really look at it cuz I was absorbed in what I was doing.
When I finally did take a break to eat, I saw the salad did not match up
to previous experiences. Just did not look all that appetizing. When I
went to cut up the steak on top, it was EXTREMELY tough!! I was
already sore in my shoulder area and iit got worse from trying to cut the
damn steak. I looked over at my potato and saw that it had butter and sour
cream on it. ICK!! SOUR CREAM!!! NO WAY! Not for this girl.
I politely told my waitress that was not what I wanted so she brought
me the correct order, although she did not even APOLOGIZE! When it did
arrive at my table, it too, did not look to appetizing. Not sure what
happened here tonite but the food looked like it had been in the kitchen
for about 2 days before arrival to my table.
At least the margarita was good.
Maybe I should just shut up and be grateful I am able to afford to eat
a meal out or even be able to eat at all for that matter.

Quirks

2008-01-05T17:12:00.000-08:00

Part of me is very quirky. Here is what is looks like: I have a nice,
digital alarm clock but don't use it. Instead I use a very small and
plain, regular one that is an AA battery operated alarm clock.
I have had a new beautiful cutting board for about a year that I have
never used. Instead, I elect to continue to use one small and one larger
white ones that are quite mediocre.
I have about 6 Peets coffee bags in my fridge, however more than half of
those have just a few miniscule grounds left in them. I leave a little
and then I open a new bag. Why can't I just finish the one and throw
the bag away? Is this an attachment issue. (Also, there is more coffee
in my fridge than anything else)
Currently, on my coffee table, I have an unopened 1lb box of Sees Candies, NUTS & CHEWS (my favorite). It was a xmas gift and remains unopened.
Man...i must have some will power.

what are your quirky ways...?

A Season Ends

2008-01-01T05:47:00.000-08:00

Well......the mighty Browns did not get into the playoffs. As mentioned in previous post, they had their own opportunity to win 2 weeks ago and lost a very winnable game. Watching the Colts vs Titans on Sunday evening was painful. All i have to say about that game is 2 things: 1) COLTS fan should be very grateful Peyton is healty because the back-up guy, Sorgi, is ATROCIOUS. 2) TITANS BARELY won the game against 2nd & 3rd string players for Colts. By all rationale, San Diego will pounce on Titans on Sunday.
Of course, I was so bummed while watching the game...knowing as each minute ticked off the play clock, the Browns season and my fun as a following fan was dwindling...

Now, for the positive side: finishing record was 10-6, best since 1994!!!
And I think the following comments sum it up:

Despite the obvious disappointment, the players said they aren't hanging their heads Monday.
"I'm shocked with 10 wins we're not in the playoffs but it is what it is," receiver Joe Jurevicius said. "We're not going to cry over spilled milk.
"I can sit here today with a smile because we did things the right way and when things are done in the right way it pays big dividends and it did that for us this year. Ultimately our goal of going to the playoffs didn't materialize but you have to be proud.
"This was a pretty good football year. It has been one of the most fun seasons I've had as a professional."

I'm also still looking forward to the playoffs. Who am i gonna root for now:
Here are the teams I am rooting for in order:
GREEN BAY PACKERS
WASHINGTON REDSKINS

It'd be pretty cool to see Brett Farve win a SuperBowl!

Thanks to all the Browns players who made this season super fun to watch. See ya in Fall 2008!!

2007-12-30T07:47:00.000-08:00

What an exciting, thrilling, nail-biting, “hang on to the edge of your seat” season it has been for the Cleveland Browns and their fans, MYSELF included.
If I recall recorrectly, the team was predicted (by NFL know-it-alls) to finish last in their division. It was going to be another barely medicore season...another “rebuilding year”. And to be honest with you, when the team lost their 1st game of the year, at home, to Pittsburgh 7-34, well....it sure did not seem like any good was going to come of the season.
And then....something happened. The day after the game, the team traded the then starting QB and gave the job to 2nd QB, Derek Anderson. AND HE HAS BEEN PHENOMENAL!! The offense started clicking and the team started winning. Standout players have been WR Braylon Edwards(going to the PRO BOWL!) TE Kellen Winslow JR and RB Jamal Lewis. Remember that first embarrasing game at home? Yeah, well, THEY HAVE NOT LOST AT HOME SINCE. HOME RECORD IS 6-1. WHAT A GIFT FOR THE HUNGRY, DEVOTED FANS OF CLEVELAND. For anyone who knows anything about football, they will agree, Browns fans are some of the most die-hard, devoted, in all of football.
The team has improved greatly, but i also know what is true: they have to claw & fight for every freaking win. No win has ever come easy for this team. It’s never been a “ok. we can kick back and relax” kinda feeling like the NE patriot or INDY colt fans enjoy. It is always dramatic. And for most of my years as a fan, it is typically this way.
I’m lucky I am healthy or watching their games might have me on heart medication.
So...here we are on the last game day of the regular season. Cleveland’s record is 9-6 and they have one last chance to get into the playoffs. Of course, they could have secured their own fate last week by beating the CINCY BENGALS, but nope...they did not take care of business. So, us fans have to wait until late tonight when the outcome of the TENNESSEE TITAN vs INDIANAPOLIS COLTS play at 8:15pm est. This is the biggest game of the weekend. IF TENNESSEE WINS, they take the last playoff spot; IF THEY LOSE, CLEVELAND TAKES THE FINAL PLAYOFF SPOT. Cleveland plays the 49ers at home and the outcome of that game does not matter for the playoff picture, but i would hope they come out and crush the niners like they should!!
I will be waiting all day for the night game. I will be rooting for the COLTS big time. This is no gimme game. In fact, the COLTS ARE THE UNDERDOGS in this game.
If you want to see why: colts vs titans

GO COLTS!!! GO BROWNS!!!

2007 travels

2007-12-29T12:54:00.001-08:00

I went quite a few places in 2007. Some for fun/relaxation and some for races. Here is a quick re-cap:

Jan - drove about 1-2 hrs to LAKE OCONEE & stayed at the Ritzy RITZ CARLTON
Feb - drove to Birmingham, AL to run the Mercedes Half Marathon (sadly, I cannot run it in 2008 as I will be in NJ)
April- drove about 2 hrs to BLUE RIDGE, GA and stayed at the "sleepy bear cabin"
May - flew to Chicago for "blog friend fest"
May-June - flew to Philadelphia for 10k race and fun
June - drove to the beach in Florida for my first ever trip to the "sunshine state"
July - flew to Seattle for fun & my first ever trip to Pacific Northwest
August - drove about 3 -4 hrs to Huntsville, AL for a 10k race and fun
November - flew to Baltimore for JFK 50 Mile race and fun
November - flew to VEGAS for....(hey, what happens in vegas STAYS in vegas)

It was a good year for travel. Looking ahead to 2008, I already know I will be taking at least 2 trips in the first 3 months of the year. And, just maybe....i will take a trip outside of the U.S. this year.

What about ya'll? Got any travel plans for 2008?

a small survey

2007-12-26T16:31:00.000-08:00

please humor me by answering the following questions related to xmas presents:

1) did you give or receive any APPLE product (including itunes gift cards)?

2) did you give or receive any GARMIN products?

3) did you purchase anything off of Amazon?

thanks, in advance

an open letter

2007-12-20T17:30:00.001-08:00

i don’t want you to buy a christmas gift for me. why? because the only gift that would matter is the pleasure of your company. the best gift i could imagine are just a few hours or a few days where i could whisk you away to a place just for us. a place that might overlook the pacific ocean and where we could sit comforted by a burning fire. a place where we could enjoy a spicy Alexander Valley Zinfandel and watch the famous fog roll in and cover the land....a place where eucalyptus fills the night air and make me happy to breathe again. the gift that would matter would be the gift of your words...listening to you talk about anything and everything and watch as you become emphatic and loud and then soft and your tone close to a whisper. you could buy me everything but not one single thing would come close to just the simple gift of you.

freddie and the others

2007-12-16T07:33:00.001-08:00

at this time of the year, i love waking up, opening my blinds, sitting in bed with a cup of coffee and looking outside my window. as i look out the window, i see a sight that somehow both intrigues and comforts me. there are lots of trees and of course, they are now mostly barren. what intrigues and comforts me are these same branches that for the 3rd year in a row now, are able to keep some of their leaves. as i look around to the other branches, they are empty. but, just these few right outside my window and in perfect view, have some leaves remaining. i’m intrigued because the leaves look very delicate and flimsy. yet, even after rain and wind, they remain. they are holding on for dear life. and at this time, i am always reminded of a book i recieved when i was 13; The Fall of Freddie the Leaf. It was a book about letting go, about dying. I recieved it after my mom died. I don’t actually rememeber much about the book except that Freddie was a lone leaf..he did not want to fall. But, all the other leaves had fallen, all his friends. So, while he clung on for dear life, he was alone. When I look at these leaves outisde, i think of them as Freddies. And soon, there will likely be just one out there on the branch; one Freddie. I feel like I understand why they stay and cling on...they are holding on to what they know...but, I aso understand the need to fall...to let go...and I get that they will fall when they are ready.

morning and afternoon

2007-12-07T16:25:00.000-08:00

This morning was rough: I had to tell someone at work that something they said to me last night was completely inappropriate and that i did not appreciate her comment. While she completely apologized and took responsibility, i was still rattled and really bothered by it. Not the best way to start off a FRIDAY! This particular individual has from time to time said some things in the past to me and whenever she does, I am baffled that such words actually come out of her mouth. Sometimes, I find this person to be quite unlikable.

Moving on: my afternoon went better. I walked over to the mall not looking for anything in particular...mainly was gonna get a sandwich at PANERA BREAD. But, then....I saw the Kenneth Cole store and sauntered on in. And then....it caught my eye....a satchel! I have been loosely looking for one because I made a promise to myself that if I got my work promotion, I would by one. Well, today was the day. It is sweeeet. It's a leather flapover portfolio bag (MENS's). I kinda chuckle to myself because being in the line of work I am in, I should really have something more feminine....but, oh well -- sorry...that just ain't me.

And you know what....it smells really fucking good. Nothing like good leather, baby!

Going All Out

2007-12-02T07:21:00.000-08:00

Since a couple of people, Trinity and R.D. have posted their Christmas wish lists, I thought I would throw my hat into the ring as well. Hey, you never know what Santa will bring!

On the TECHNO side:

I'd love a new MAC BOOK and my very first
Digital Camera so I can post more pictures like the rest of you folks.

On the wearable side: another
COOL WATCH

Also, a gift card to Peets Coffee will do since I spend quite a few bucks ordering coffee from the west coast to satisfy my addictive, snobby need.

Other than what is listed, I could go for a hellavua training program so I can run a marathon in under 4 hours, a few more new high net worth clients so I can book another trip to Vegas with Trinity and BP and book us a suite at BELLAGIO

Also, I would say world peace, but i think just peace in my own city of Atlanta would be more reasonable. Murder rates were up in 2007. C'mon folks, it's CHRISTMAS TIME.

workplace love

2007-11-12T17:26:00.000-08:00

my friend and co-worker, AJ, has lost her dog. A sweet and cute little thing that disappeared while in the care of someone else while AJ was out of town. Needless to say, she is distraught. The dog has been missing since last thursday. It's not looking too hopeful, unfortunately.

AJ and i have a good relationship and we sit right across from each other. Our work space is very open and there is no privacy. Everyone can hear what everyone else is saying. AJ and I will frequently get into a banter that sounds much harsher than it really is...people who hear us will comment that we are like "an old married couple." It's true. That is exactly what we sound like sometimes. It's hilarious because she is like 17 years older than me, but often times, i feel like I am the older one. Anyway, one colleague in particular will often try to get us to "calm down" when he thinks we are "fighting" too much.

given the sensitivity of Aj's current situation, I was especially nice and comforting today. I went over to her desk a few times to just give her a hug and listen, etc.. So, when the one colleague who thinks we fight too much walked by i said, "hey, do you notice how nice I am being to AJ today?" "Yeah" he said, "It's like the love pit over there."

cracked me up

i hope the little pup comes back safely...

2007-11-08T17:18:00.000-08:00

sometimes i feel very selfish. other times, very selfLESS. sometimes, i feel very inflated. sometimes, deflated. sometimes, i feel completely missed. other times, totally gotten.

I don't think we can have one without the other......

__________________________________________________________________________

when you loved me, i was changed. How could i not be?

I wonder if you feel...notice that....too?

2007-11-06T17:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I took a vacation day off from work.
I slept in and then went out for morning coffee ( which i never do..i make it at home)
I went to a place that i believe has the best coffee in atlanta. i bought a raisan scone and they warmed it for me. I took my coffee and scone and sat in a comfortable chair on the outside patio. The sun was shining and the day was warming up. It was gorgeous. I just sat and soaked in the moment.

Soak them in. Whatever they are.

2007-11-01T17:19:00.000-07:00

Happily stolen from gumdropgal

FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD:

a) paper route as a child. i really enjoyed it. especially the tips in quarters or better yet, dollar bills
b) cashier at Winchell's Donuts ( used to eat many glazed twists. yum)
c) project manager for a spanish and asian yellow page directory company
4) housecleaner/yard helper person

FOUR MOVIES I COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER (i'm sure i could name MANY...)

a) the hours
b) crash
c) heat
d) rocky

FOUR TV SHOES I LIKE

a) the closer
b) grey's anatomy
c) law and order (CI, SVU)
d) private practice

FOUR PLACES I'VE GONE ON VACATION

a) nepal
b) seattle
c) ny
d) florida panhandle

FOUR FAVORITE FOODS

a) burritos
b) yogurt w/ granola
c) bagel w/ scrambled egg & cheese
d) perfectly baked potato w/ cheese

FOUR WEBSITES I VISIT DAILY

a) yahoo finance
b) yahoo sports
c) my blogs
d) google

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE

a) lake tahoe
b) sitting in a cozy room w/ a great fire going and have it be cold outside
c) on a retreat somewhere
d) palm springs

Consider yourself tagged if you wish to be...

help in the kitchen!

2007-10-28T16:46:00.000-07:00

I CANNOT cook! Um...let me re-phrase this. I CANNOT FOLLOW A RECIPE. UUGGHHHH Every Freaking time I try to follow a new recipe, I botch it so bad that either it is barely edible or not at all. Tonight, it was the later. WTF??

I'm in my kitchen, delighted to try something new, happy to cook instead of go out or grab something to go. I had some Wynton Marsalis Jazz playing and I felt relaxed....up until I realized the sauce I was making for the pasta was pretty gross and I threw it out!!!! And because I never keep food stocked, I ended up just tossing a little olive oil on the pasta and put some parmesean cheese on it. That was what I ate for dinner. And then a bowl of frosted mini-wheats.

I was so discouraged. I don't know what went wrong, so please don't ask. 6 out of 7 days, i either eat out or get something to go. If I eat at home, it is usually a sandwich or cereal or mac n cheese. I used to cook more, but I don't really enjoy cooking in my kitchen. I do know how to cook some other things more involved, but i just don't. I just want to know why I can't freaking follow a recipe. And a friend of mine keeps giving me recipe books as gifts....I am gonna have to tell her to stop. They are of no use to me. I may as well just make the shit up as I go along.

I want to win the lotter for the sole purpose of being able to hire a LIVE-IN-CHEF

UURRRRRR

2007-10-26T04:09:00.000-07:00

“Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find ''tomorrow'' on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday's defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, ''If I had my life to live over again. ''Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day! Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.”
-Og Mandino

the body

2007-10-23T17:36:00.000-07:00

Isn't it amazing what our body does for us? I mean, really! Just ponder for a second that while you sit and read this post, your eyes are moving across the computer screen...there are muscles in your eyes that are working to make the movement happen. And as you read, information is interpreted and sent to different areas of your brain for processing or what not...

And all the while, blood continues to circulate throughout your body...your heart pumps the oxygenated blood out to your extremeities and various organs...your dinner is being processed and broken down by your digestive system and your kidneys are hopefully working so that you can hit the toilet later on...

THE BODY IS FREAKING AMAZING!!! And that stuff is all just automatic. it happens. from birth. it just happens. And the other thing that amazes me is MEDICINE....how a pill can be taken to pinpoint one particular ailment and it works. It's all a trip to me. Really.

And then i think about the people for who some of these things aren't automatic. I'm just amazed that it is for most of us.

Have you thanked your body lately? Go ahead, Give your BODY a hug! Isn't it deserving??

A favorite post

2007-10-22T17:38:00.001-07:00

ThinkerGirl

Scroll Down when you click the link

Streetlights

2007-10-14T17:24:00.000-07:00

After my 17 plus mile run today, I stood on a corner waiting to cross the street. In front of me there was a woman in an SUV with her window rolled down. Attractive, short blond hair. We made eye contact. Her light turned and she was moving and ready to turn. She looked back my way twice and grinned....

On my way to dinner tonite, I was at a stoplight. There was a man holding a sign that said, "Homeless. Please help."
He was thin, maybe 40 yrs old, looking worn, tired.

I gave him a 5 dollar bill. His words to me were, "God Bless You."
I said the same thing back to him. I guess I felt fortunate to be able to go eat and wanted him to be able to get something too maybe....

Tuesday Commentary

2007-10-09T17:31:00.000-07:00

I woke up earlier than usual. I was alert, eager, and excited for the day.

Sometime about 10am, I lost that feeling....sigh...

The man who died in Sunday's Chicago Marathon was a police officer who had a heart condition, the autopsy showed. Did not die of heat problems. This is what I read in the paper today.

I got angry today and then I got angry AND frustrated at myself for feeling angry. BECAUSE, too often, i allow myself to get angry at the same shit....uugghh. Bang my head against the wall!!! I need to meditate. Seriously.

Went to the gym after work and as I was about to leave the dressing room to go out and run on the THRILLMILL when I noticed about 4 women sitting or standing and watching ELLEN on the TV in the lounge. I stopped to see what was the big deal: KATE WALSH was on. You better believe I grabbed a seat and watched the show....ahhh....the day got better. :)

Two good looking flicks are coming out this friday: We own the Night and Michael Clayton.....will be a good weekend at the SHOW!

I wonder what the world would be like today if Martin Luther King Jr. was alive today and sending his messages. We don't have anyone like that anymore. What figure out there is inspiring? Motivating? Uplifting? I cannot think of anyone. Maybe it's up to us...each of us in our own individual ways.....

I went to a coffee shop i don't normally go to and got a small coffee to go. As I was about to add cream, i noticed it was way too full and I needed to dump some out. The only place I could see was the trash can, but i didn't want to put the hot liquid in there. So, I noticed some water cups right there that I could use. By the time I had "fixed" my cup of coffee, the barista had come over and I said, "oh, the cup was too full, so i put the extra in this cup instead of the garbage." She smiled. "oh, that's nice. that was very kind of you."
That made me smile. And I went on my way.

2007-10-06T14:47:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, people REALLY need to think before they speak. Seriously.

enough said.

More Commentary

2007-10-05T04:24:00.000-07:00

I am of the belief that people come into your life and there are lessons exchanged. I also believe the people who occupy a lot of your time, energy, etc...(positively or negatively) are those where the lessons are the biggest. But, sometimes....it is just plain TOUGH to GET THE FREAKING LESSON....

I drink gatorade and powerade after long runs and i do like gatorade better. it doesn't seem as sweet. But, the flavor i like best is called "Citrus Orange (or orange citrus)" and it is not available at too many places AND if it is, it is usually in the 32 oz. bottle, which i prefer not to buy. What is a thirsty girl to do??

A couple of friends surprised me the other night with a homemade dinner, 'happy birthday' streamers and signs and a homemade birthday cake with candles. IT WAS SOOOO COOL! I cannot even remember the last time I made a wish and blew out candles. It was pretty neat.

I'm itching to go roll some dice and trying to figure out where and how to make it happen. Where is my magic carpet when I need it?

i LOVE going into running stores. I slowly walk around and check out all the stuff: apparel, shoes, magazines, race postings/entries. It's truly my candy store. Just recently I bought a new pair of UNDER ARMOUR shorts.

I do not like the GEICO caveman commercials...they gross me out! And i don't think they are funny. Please tell me I am not alone....

Got word from my brother. His letters are wonderfully simple, tender. In my last letter to him, i told him i was waiting to hear on the promotion at work...
"I'm praying for your promotion at work...keep up your great work at your job. if no one pats you on the back for appreciation - God sees you."
He is my only connection to family. His letters are comforting.

I'm 3 for 3 on some baseball bets! AND I CANNOT BELIEVE Cleveland Browns are 16 points underdogs vs. New England on Sunday. Browns will cover. You heard it hear.

Happy Friday!

2007-10-04T04:31:00.000-07:00

I read this somewhere a long time ago and have always remembered it:

Rather than measure our days by the usual standards of productivity, perhaps we can ask these questions: how have i loved today? what are the qualities of the gifts i have given? have i laughed?

Commentary

2007-09-29T17:23:00.000-07:00

I dreamt of a very old friend last night. Someone I have not seen or spoken to since i was about 15 years old. Weird. What the heck does it mean....
After dinner last night, I went to see THE VALLEY OF ELAH with Tommy Lee Jones, Susan Sarandon, & Chalize Theron. A good show! Jones was AWEsome. A sad flick, though. I didn't get popcorn, but did get Peanut M&M's. I NEVER BUY PLAIN M&M's....
I have been having such a hard time with being "hooked" into a good book lately. I have started about 5 and had to put them down because they just didn't grab me...the most recent victim was Ayn Rand's ALTAS SHRUGGED. If i am missing something here, please let me know....I am not reading another dectective thriller by Michael Connelly
Have I ever mentioned on this blog that part of me wanted/wants to be a detective. I think it would be so cool...to find/collect evidence and find the assailants of different crimes. I dig that stuff. My mom used to say, "DIG".
I got a little scrapped up today during my room and it was kinda cool. It was such a beautiful day. AHHH. Perfect weather. Not a cloud in the blue sky. The warmth was soothing on my body as I sat outside to ice my ankle after my run.
I want a few things that are a bit costly: a digital camera & a new Apple Laptop. I don't NEED either, but I want them and I seldom want STUFF....
I got an gift card to REI for my b-day. Can't wait to use it. YIPPEE....
I have a little Weeping Buddha on my desk and it is one of my most favorite things in my house.
I have not heard from my brother who is in prison and it makes me wonder if he is in trouble and cannot write or what....?

When I first began drinking coffee, the only drink I would get was a Mocha with whipped cream. Funny. I never ever order that now. Have not in years....

Funny....

Also..how sad and disturbing monks are being killed in Myanmar

Climbing

2007-09-26T17:33:00.000-07:00

"The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher." ~Thomas Henry Huxley

I have been on the same rung of a ladder for what feels like a VERY LOOOOONG TIME. I have had been patient, i have worked hard and i have had to dig deep to keep fighting ahead for that which is important to me. The time on the rung has not been easy. I kept looking up at the rung ahead and knew i could stand there, but i couldn't, just yet.

Well, after much planning, sweat, and yes, tears, i am on my way to the next rung.

On my 37th birthday yesterday, i found out i got the promotion i have been wanting at work.

I am thrilled, to say the least.

2007-09-17T15:15:00.000-07:00

T2 would appreciate (or give me hell about this!):

One of the little quirks about me is that I have a tendency to keep strange things....like protective wrappers on things that need to be taken of. When she and I first became friends, she talked me into getting a cell phone. It took me a long time before I threw away the protective wrapper on my little Motorola StarTak cell phone. Boy, she used to get on me a lot about taking it off....after a long while, i finally did.

But...there are other things as well. I also have found I have a tendency to keep the valet tags on my keychain long after I have left a restaurant or whatever place i was where valet was needed. Why? Why and the heck do i keep the tag? I have no idea....i just do and it's always a bit sad when i finally tear the tag off...

I am not bringing all this up out of the blue, as might be imagined. I was making a smoothie the other day in my too cool blender and I noticed, yikes, a piece of protective covering on the buttons and such. I had never noticed it before. I was tickled. So, what do you think I did?

I left it on....

In other news....I am extremely grateful to be getting a massge in about 15 minutes. I need some body healing after logging some good miles this past weekend.

The CLEVELAND BROWNS WON!! 51-44 yesterday over intrastate rival, Cincy Bengals. Obviously, no defense here, but a win is a win, baby! Go Browns!

September has got to be maybe my most favorite month of the year. It often reminds me of a new soccer season beginning. When I was in high school, this was definitely on of the best times for me. I recall the smell of the grass up there on 9500 Stearns Ave in Oakland, CA. It always smelled as though it had just been cut and the cool air from the bay would make it's way over to our area and just become suspended, it seemed. It was cool, not cold.
I recall lugging my bag into the locker to change...my shy self, so self-conscious about my body, back then....putting on my shorts, shirts, shinguards and cleats and making my way down to the field. I felt we were a select group, me and my teammates. And soon enough, we would form 2 lines and run our laps to warm-up. A precious time, that was. Very memorable. And so, Fall....reminds me of those later afternoons, early evenings at B.O.D.

mirror mirror on the wall

2007-08-29T17:12:00.000-07:00

when was the last time you really looked at your face?

really looked. without judgement of good/bad...but just really looked at who you are. what you look like.

take a look.

2007-08-20T15:20:00.000-07:00

there doesn't need to be a body for there to be a death

2007-08-18T04:54:00.000-07:00

she combed my long hair and fixed it into something nice instead of my usual ponytail. she bought me my first ever pair of Nike shoes. she made the best scrambled egg sandwiches. she had pudgy fingers. she drank pepsi, coors. she loved motown music. she always referred to San Francisco as "the city", her hometown. she was loyal to All My Children & General Hospital. she bought me my first bike, a red Schwinn 10-speed. she saw me run. she listened to my horrible attempt at playing violin. she cried while reading every card i gave her. she was very sentimental. she liked to sing. she was strong in her convictions. she would not back down. she was open to all people, regardless of color, etc.. she enjoyed celebrating all the holidays. she made wonderful chicken and rice soup. she called me her angel. she said she knew i would make something of myself.

her name was Eileen Delia Funtanilla
she died at 40 years of age. today she would have been 64

Happy Birthday, Mom. Somewhere, their is a hellavua tear-jerker hallmark card addressed to you.

questions for you

2007-08-09T16:40:00.000-07:00

are you more the pursuer or the pursued?

is it important to you that the people in your life know you care about them? do you show it or say it? both? neither?

do you have faith?

what was the last spontaneous thing you did?

do you feel valued in your work/profession?

would you feel comfortable being nude at an optional clothing beach?

has anyone ever sent you a drink at a bar?

do your parents tell you they love you?

how would you feel if your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife said they wanted to explore having an open relationship?

what do you want more of in your life?
what do you want less of?

do you believe in love at first sight?

what job, other than your own, would you like?

if you put down a bet on a rouleette wheel, what number what you bet on?

father & daughter

2007-08-04T17:12:00.000-07:00

At the end of my run today, i walked about .5 mile as a cooldown to my car. Walking in front of me was a man and a little curly blonde girl. she was wearing lime green Crox sandles. she looked about 3-4 yrs old. as i was about to pass them, the man said, "let the lady pass."
she was sooo cute. her little body. her little Crox. he was well built, in-shape looking. he was carrying a bag in one hand.

I walked straight to my car and just leaned across from it on some concete edge of a yard. I was just sort of in a daze. sweating and just content to lean, stretch and watch people walk by this busy part of the neighborhood.

i looked to my left and saw the man and little girl coming towards my direction. he picked her up and carried her. as he got closer to me, i said "she didn't wanna walk anymore, huh? "Yeah" he replied. "That's exactly what she said." they passed and kept walking forward. he carried her in his right arm and bag in left arm. i watch them for awhile. she put her hand on his face and was touching, poking him, playfully, it seemed. so sweet. so tender.

i felt. a missing.

sports notes

2007-08-03T15:54:00.000-07:00

I've got my CLEVELAND BROWNS cap on right now. I KNOW it's not football season YET ...but its a comin'! I just hope our freakin' new QB, Brady Quinn, actually SIGNS a freaking contract. This could actually be a very interesting season for the Brownies. Mind you, i said "interesting", not good. But, every year, i hope. i hope. i hope.

Now that Michael Vick has utterly embarassed himself, the team, the fans, this city....I will have a very hard time rooting for the Falcons. I know he most likley will not be around, but i just feel so sick of it all. He provided the excitement for this team and it was pretty cool. What a freaking waste.

Baseball season is going strong and even though SF Giants are in the cellar right now, it was pretty sweet to watch them take 2 out of 3 from the LA Dodgers in LA! I hope Bonds crushes some more balls and I hope Giants have a great rest of season. I'm Hoping. I'm Hoping...

Other than the Giants, I really have a hard time truly rooting for another team. i guess when you are a fan, you just ARE A FAN.
But, I feel like once playoffs come, i will have to root for a team. Maybe Arizona. They have a pretty cool, young team. I would also root for Florida, but they are not much better than SF. Oh well, there is always hope.

Seattle - Part IVb - (the much late finale)

2007-07-28T14:18:00.001-07:00

Have been back from Seattle now for over 2 weeks and am just now relaying the last important parts. Sheesh.

As some of you readers now, I am a huge fan of Peets Coffee. (headquartered in Bay Area). Well, Seattle has a couple of stores and on my last 2 mornings in town, I went.

Sunday morning I took a taxi and was in heaven. I was so damn happy to be in Peets again!!

I got a small coffee and asked the barista to take a picture of me. She was startled. She had never been asked to take a picture of anyone in front of their store.

I love this picture. I am sooo happy. And it is sooo me: peets coffee in hand, race/running shirt, & a bandana.

I spent about 3 hours there, reading, on computer, and just sitting! Afterwards, went on a awesome 6 mile run with Lake Union in view and through the University of Washington's campus. Beautiful.

Monday morning i found the bus to take me there and stayed for another 1 1/2 hours. No where else I'd rather spend a free morning.

Overall: trip was relaxing and the breath of fresh air I badly needed. Great to get away and see some new sights and gain some perspective on many things. Seattle is an unspectacular city. No glitz or glamour. Nothing fancy. Which is exactly what drew me to it even more.

Cheers!

Seattle - Part IVa - finally some photos

2007-07-22T14:09:00.000-07:00

(Since I do not have a digital camera, my photo postings are sporadic and rare, but here are a few from the trip!)

Beautiful Safeco Field

Me (with, YES, TRIN, my SF Giants CAP!!)

Seattle - Part III

2007-07-20T08:09:00.000-07:00

Friday: Woke & had coffee in hotel cafe. Went for a short but challening 4 mile run. Ran from the hotel and up into an area called Capitol Hill. Lots of hills through there - along with neighborhoody shops, cafes, etc...Winded through parts of downtown and back to the hotel. Nothin’ to exciting, but at least i got to see another part of the city if i wanted to go back & explore more.

After lunch, i went shopping again and ended up purchasing some trail running ADIDAS shoes. I couln’t help it. 30% off. Hard to pass up. Also bought a new skirt for work. Who-Hoo!!

Fast forward to the evening: Rode the FREE bus to SAFECO Field, home of the Seattle Mariners. They were playing host to Detroit Tigers and i decided to check out the game and stadium. I was lucky to arrive in one piece considering the herky-jerky way our bus driver drove. He must have tapped the breaks a million times. i am NOT KIDDING. A couple of guys exited before me and said sarcastically, to the driver, “thanks, that was fun”. Yeah, thanks mr. bus driver for making us all jerk back and forth in our seats. If you had back or neck problems, that was not the bus ride for you.

Bought a cheapie tix and wandered around the stadium. beautiful! I watched about 5-6 innings of the game and returned to hotel. Kinda tough for me to get excited about the American League game when i have been a National League fan my entire life. Neverthess, it was cool to be out on a gorgeous evening and seeing a new ballpark. These stadiums i now have under my belt: AT&T Park, Oakland A’s Park (whatever that is called) Atlanta’s (old) Fulton County Stadium, Atlanta’s (new) Turner Field, Coors Field, Citizen’s Park and now Safeco Field.

SATURDAY: ran in a different direction out of hotel. Just over 5 miles that took me very close to famous SkyNeedle and into neighborhoods a neighborhood called Queen Anne. Some hills, but nothing too steep. Much less traffic than last 2 days. One the return route, I ran closer to the water and was happy to suck in some fresh air. How awesome it has been to run in 70 degrees weather, on my own time frame and not to beat the heat or after long days at work. I have felt happier and less stressed under these conditions. i think also just a good change of scenery for my routes has been motivating.
Afterwards, I headed over the Pikes Market in all its glory. If you want fowers, that is the place to go. Flowers in abundance there: lily’s, roses, and buckets & buckets of sunflowers. AHHH -- it was gorgeous. A sunny saturday, lots of people out milling around, shopping, eating etc... I stopped into a little cafe to grab a snack and sat and did some people watching. Shortly afterwards, I boarded the ferry traveling to Bainbridge Island. A thrill of a ride. I stood on the top deck and just soaked in the sights. The water, the islands off in the distance, Safeco Field, Qwest Field(home of Seattle Seahawks) and as the Seattle skyline as we moved further west. Bainbridge was definitiely a highlight. A quaint island with neat shops, restaurants, etc.. ate some incredible fish & chips at the Harbour Pub while drinking a Mac & Jack’s Serengheti Wheat Ale. AHH - delicious. Bought some books at an independent bookstore, which was a delight since i don’t think Atlanta has ANY! On my walk back to the Ferry, I caught a woman licking an Ice Cream and asked here where she got it. MORA’s was the place and my oh my! I had a scoop and 1/2. Full scoop was Mint with Shaved Chocolate and 1/2 scoop was Pistachio. I tell ya, that is some of the best Ice Cream i have ever had. I tried to savor it, but i slurped it down pretty fast. Ferry ride back was just as awesome as the ride over. Sometimes, you just gotta feel the wind on your face!!

Seattle Part II

2007-07-15T17:39:00.000-07:00

After dropping my bags off in my room on the 42nd floor with a wonderful view of Puget Sound, I headed out the door for some grub. Luckily, the place the front desk recommended for my famished self was directly across the street. At the Icon Grill, i sucked down a delicious cup of yellow pepper soup and a caesar salad. Afterwards, i walked up the block and into the heart of downtown with a Starbucks on every corner. There were tons of people out, lots of energy and a band playing “i get by with a little help from my friends....” song. Festive indeed, especially with the sun shining upon us.
I walked into an ADIDAS store. Oh my!! I was gonna be in trouble! They were having a sale where almost every shoe was 30% off and I saw about 3 that i liked. yikes! I restrained myself & only bought a pair of sweatbands, while giving myself an opportunity to THINK about buying ANOTHER new pair of running shoes.
I felt my food was digested after a bit so I went back to hotel and put my running gear on. I was not gonna go far. I was exhausted from the week and the travel, but after not running for 4 days, I really ached to get my body moving and plus, I wanted to get up close and personal with the water!

One of the best thing about running is that you can use it to explore a new place and that is exactly what i intended to do. I asked the concierge about dinner options and she directed to me a place called Il Bistro which was located in Pikes Market...in the direction I was headed.
I hit the streets and headed west. Zigzagging through people and cars & up and down some small hills, I found Pikes Market, Il Bistro & lots of other things. I went down some steps, crossed the street and was running parallel to the water. How does one describe the smell? It’s so distinct. I could smell it before I could see it. AHHH > > > > the water. I could see clear across to whatever islands were out there... Bainbridge, Vashon.
I started smiling and took some deep breaths....so happy was i to be at the water again!
Fast forward to dinner time and i walked back to Il Bistro. A quaint and quiet little Italian spot. I was all ready to order some pasta when i heard about the special. It was too tempting to pass up:

Dinner > Grilled Halibut, Fennel Mashed Potatoes, Heirloom Tomatoes w/ Basil.

YUM, YUM, YUM. I don’t think I have ever tasted better Halibut.

I walked back to the hotel, read some of my book and crashed. A tired traveler....

Seattle - Part I

2007-07-14T19:38:00.000-07:00

One of my goals this year (as indentified on right hand side of blog) was to vacation in Seattle. Well, I made it. Here is part I of my trip.

Like I'm sure many people experience, the days leading up to my "vacation" were extremely hectic, stressful and chaotic. It was so crazy that I did not even get a chance to run for 4 days and THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING!!

So, Thursday rolled around and I was soon on my plane headed west. I brought reading material. The Might Heart, and the current issue of Fortune Magazine. I had my iPod. I was all prepared to sit tight for about 5 hours in the air.

The plane was a big one. Not sure what the actual # of it was, but it was big; it was one of those planes with 2 seats on the left, 3 in middle, and 2 on right side. So, as I am about to get all settled in and read, sleep, etc...I hear the loud noises of 2 small children directly in front of me. Actually, it was a whole family split between the 3 middle seats and 2 left had side seats. The 2 kids were probably 5, 6 or so. Man, were they loud, busy, ancy, bratty, etc... I couldn't help but think of T2 and how she would have sooooo loved this situation. I wonder if she would have said something to the kids or to the parents. They were constantly eating and throwing their food and the isle became cluttered with their shit. Um, Hello.... This is not your house or your play pen. There was food, wrappers, pencils, toys in the isle. NICE!

Actually, it sounds much more irritating than it was. I think i was just so happy to get on the plane that i couldn't even allow myself to get caught up with those kids. The thing that i noticed was just how much work they were and how i could not handle having kids like such. All the dad did the entire 5 hour flight was try to get them to settle down, quiet down, pick up after them, etc...Man, i was tired just watching him.

Anyways, somehow I was able to tune them out enough to read and listen to some tunes and shut my eyes a bit. Soon enough, I was in a city I had never been in and I was excited. Other than the kid stuff, the travel was smoothe. I checked into my hotel, the Westin, and was soon off to see the city.

Doctor, Doctor, Can't You See I'm Burning, Burning..

2007-07-09T16:35:00.000-07:00

ok. you wanted to know.

2007-07-04T13:52:00.000-07:00

angelina. jolie.

man, she is HoT.

watched a movie with her in it - Taking Lives -
very mediocre, but whatever.

She is smokin!

brad pitt. why?

2007-06-30T14:42:00.001-07:00

I remember being about 10 and running away. I ran all the way across the street and found a spot between 2 buildings. I kept looking across the street towards my house to see if she would come look for me.

I remember the four of us dressed in our Sunday best and walking to the 10:00am Sunday service at St. Leanders

I remember going to the drive-in to watch Star Wars. All of us packed into the chipped painted maroon VW squareback. Blankets, popcorn, candy, soda pop.

I remember writing her a "thank you for all you have done for me" note on lined dark yellow paper, putting it in the mailbox, and telling her she had mail. it was a Sunday.

I remember her buying the 45" of CHARIOTS OF FIRE and us listening to it before my first ever track meet. I ran the 100 yard dash and beat 2 close friends in the process.

I remember her pudgy fingers and cheeks

I remember her icy, cold looks

I remember her tears. rage.

I remember the smell of our car even though i cannot describe it

I remember "stealing" change from her coats & sweaters as they hung from the doorknob while she was sleeping

I remember packing the car full of stuff when we went to Lake Don Castro and Shawdow Cliff in Pleasanton for water slides.

I remember car camping for the one and only time at Lake Camanche and feeling so free.

I remember being outside late at night with her and us saying together;

"Star light, Star bright
First star I see tonite."

iPhone - Apple craze

2007-06-29T08:43:00.000-07:00

I stepped out of my office and walked over to the mall just now. I am writing this post from the Apple Store in the mall. YES, there are MANY folks lined up (well, sitting on chairs and floor mostly) waiting for when the first purchase of the iphone can be made. Apple will close its stores at 3pm i believe and then re-open at 6pm for the big launch. A screen beside me says "374 minutes..."

Awesome. I hope sales go nuts. I hope people love the product.

Whatever you think about Apple as a company, you have to admit they have revolutioned our digital world. Hats off to them.

GO NUTS!!

odds n ends

2007-06-14T17:45:00.001-07:00

This is a compilation of perhaps quirky or unusal things about me:

1) I look under hotel beds before going to sleep just to make sure no psycho-killer or dead body is underneath

2) I've never eaten a Big Mac, Whopper or Banana Split

3) I check my alarm about 7 times before going to sleep

4) I read books and listen the the braves baseball games at the same time

5) I've never seen "It's a Wonderful Life", "Miracle on 34th Street", or "Casablanca"

6) I hug myself

7) I think most women look better WITHOUT make-up of any kind

8) I didn't know what a papsmear was until age 21

9) I don't really enjoy zoos or aquariums

10) I don't like sushi or artichokes. (it seems most people like these)

Comics, Matches & "J"

2007-05-31T18:03:00.000-07:00

A long weekend in Chicago seems long past just days after Trin (T2) and I boarded our Airtran flight back home to Atlanta.

Memories linger; getting text messages from Kelly about her horrible 3-4 time flight delay out of SFO, seeing the price of gasoline as we bumped along in our shuttle van, $3.79! Yikes!; feeling the giddiness of meeting blogging pals and the excitement of being back in a city I adore.
Trin & I had time to ourselves as we waited for R.D.’s arrival at ROCKIT Bar and Grill. This was the 1st place I was able to collect matches. Yep, I’m a match collector. 1 beer and 1 cosmo later, I returned from the bathroom to see R.D. in the flesh! There she was sitting with Trin at the elevated table by the window. Wow. In the person, a pal from blogger.com. Wow. All her posts and comments to my posts finally come to life. Wow. Yep, I saw wow a lot. I think I might have just stared at her for a second because I do that...i just look when I am a bit startled. I have this innocence and awe about me...so sometimes, I am just in awe of things and people and I just stare. I forget that it may be weird for the other person, but really...I am just trying to get a grip and yes, soak it all in. Soak the moment in.
Finally, we get word from Kelly of her long-awaited arrival. I met her across street and we put her bags in the room. We left and met the girls and 2 more cosmos later, we were all settled in and talking and sharing. It was so comfortable, as if we had known each other for quite some time. No awkwardness at all.

Next day we went to another place called, T’s bar and restaurant where I got more matches.

Next day we met up for a delicious brunch followed by a walk in the nieghborhood. A beautiful, sunny, Chicago day. I walked happily knowing I had already gotten my run in for the day. Walking back toward the car, we stopped and lingered at an open area just outside the brunch place. Lots of people out, enjoying the sun. There was an elevated cement area where myself, R.D. and Trin all sat, not talking. Both of them had some shades on and I just got full sun. Kelly was off in the shade with R.D.’s love, C. I looked over at them and they were in full discussion...chatting away as if they had known each other for like 1o years. So, there we were...full bellies and all...soaking up the sun and the light guitar sounds of a man in black that looked like a mix between Gene Wilder and Richard Simmons.

Last night together, we ventured out to a fru-fru place down the block from our hotel called Pop’s Champagne. I think we were all a bit intimidated by the menu, but luckily my pals trusted me to make a choice. I chose a place I know, but have never tasted. “J” is the name. Simple. Located on the outskirts of the Dry Creek Valley in Sonoma County, CA. A wonderful rose Champagne we had. Maybe the best I have ever had.

Somewhere between meeting up and leaving, R.D. made a comment about how weird it was to have us there...as if we were comic strip characters come to life. A pretty cool and accurate description of what it all felt like. It was a very special and fun weekend.

And if we are comic strip characters, I get to be Charlie Brown.

...Just Saying...

an old friend...

2007-05-27T07:02:00.000-07:00

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

-M A Radmacher